Who Says You're the One in Control?

If it Were Papyrus, This Would be a Dream Come True

Sans stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. There was a crack from the wall to about halfway across the bed. It branched off several times, causing it to look like one of the many evergreen trees in Snowdin forest.

Sans' mind was dull. He felt like he had just been frozen. Everything ached, movement seemed sluggish, and he couldn't get his thoughts straight. There was only one thought he could get to stick.

He had killed Alphys.

Sans had killed Alphys, and then he had reset. He had welcomed Asgore's judgment without question. He had allowed himself to be killed to escape the horror of being a killer, but it was still there. He had killed Alphys. The flower, too. He couldn't excuse that even if Flowey had been begging for it.

Groaning, Sans rolled onto his side. He was tired of looking at the tree crack. He was tired of being awake, or even alive. Sans could honestly say he had never wished for death more than at this exact moment.

"It was for the better, Sans. I mean, Alphys is alive and well, and no one thinks you're crazy anymore, right?" Couldn't they ever shut up? 

Sans pulled his knees up to his chest and tucked his head down as low as he could. Maybe, if he was small enough, he could pretend he didn't exist. He stayed hidden under the blankets, watching his tears stain the sheets beneath him until he heard the door close.

"Sans?" Asgore was probably wearing the same look of concern he usually donned in Sans' presence these days.

"go away." Sans didn't want to be bothered, but more importantly, he didn't want to hurt anyone else. And with his power at Chara's whim, there was only one way to protect anyone. He could never give Chara an opportunity to kill anyone ever again. 

"Are you just going to stay there?" Asgore asked with a sigh. 

"it doesn't matter." Even if he moved, the chances of him ending up right back here was extremely high. Chances were, he would have more sins pressing on him at that time, as well. 

"Do you truly think this is what Papyrus would want you to do?" The name hit Sans like a physical blow. What would Papyrus have thought if he knew Sans had killed Alphys? He shrunk into himself more at the thought. Asgore sighed and Sans could hear the springs creak as the massive monster put his weight onto the second bed. "This room used to belong to my children. I remember it all. This bed I'm on was Asriel's. The one you're using belonged to Chara."

Ew. Sans jumped out of the bed in disgust. He tripped on the blanket and landed in a tangle of bedding and bone. He groaned and decided this was far enough from the bed for now.

"Wow, rude much?"

"Sans, it's just a bed." Asgore sounded just the slightest bit annoyed. 

"i have standards." Sans felt just the slightest warmth at hearing his brothers excuse. 

Asgore sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time since he entered the room. Glancing up, Sans saw how discouraged he looked. Sans found it hard to remember other people had problems when he was so swamped in his own. He must have been a handful in the last timeline. 

He needed to leave. He would only cause more problems here. He stood and headed for the door without a word.

"Sans, wait." Looking at the monster that had killed you was weird. Sans had known it was hard for him, but the fact that he could get to the point where he consciously brought Sans' demise put a whole new spin on how he looked at the king. He had considered the king a friend, but now he didn't know how he felt about him. 

Asgore looked at the floor. "If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."

It was good to see Asgore at least attempting to keep his promise this time. Sans nodded and left. 

He tried not to look at the lab as he passed. Thinking about what had happened was not something he had time for right now. He just had to get home so he wouldn't hurt anyone else.

He expected to be stopped by the flower, but when an ancient turtle called out to him, he didn't know how to react. What was the turtles name? Gerson. Yeah, that's right.

Gerson walked over, slowly. Sans knew he had been in the war with the humans, so he was incredibly old. Sans noticed the sense of humility he felt merely at the monster's presence. It threw him entirely off guard. 

"I've been lookin' for you." He had a mischievous smile. Kindhearted, unlike Flowey's, but mischievous all he same.

"yes?" Sans waited. He wanted to get home as fast as possible, but he felt like it would be rude to run off on the elder.

"I saw your fight earlier." He wore the same smile. It was the type that made Sans wonder if maybe Gerson's only objective on life was to confuse younger monsters with his smile.

What fight? Surely he couldn't mean the fight with Flowey, that had been in a different timeline. Sans tried to think of any other fight he had had in waterfall.

No. The look on Gerson's face said it all. He knew. Somehow, the elder knew what happened between Sans and Flowey in the previous timeline.

"You don't have to look so surprised!" Gerson gave a hearty 'Wa ha ha!'. "I've lived a long time, sonny; seen a lot weirder. A few extra years are welcome for an old coot like me, even if they're on repeat."

"you remember past resets?" Sans had never thought anyone else could sense what was happening. He had kept it all to himself for hundreds of timelines because he had never felt like telling anyone would accomplish anything.

"Well, 'course! I may be old, but I still got a few tricks up my sleve." He looked Sans over for a second. "Asgore's told me to lookout for people to join the Royal Guard. I think with a little training you could be what we need."

Sans was in shock. First from the fact that he wasn't the only sane one who knew of the constant abuse to the timeline. Now this turtle was telling him to be a member of the Royal Guard?

"Yes. Say yes. This could be so much fun!"

"no." Sans almost spat it at him, but the venom was meant more for Chara. "I can't even control my magic at this point. You want me guarding innocent people? Yeah right." He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to leave.

"Like I said, I can train you."

Sans paused. If he could get control of the souls, he wouldn't have to worry about resets nearly as much. "what do you know about controlling human soul power?" He couldn't help being suspicious.

"Nothin'!" He said, giving another sharp laugh. "But I know magic. I'm probably the closest thing you've got to an expert on keeping control in the heat of the moment."

Sans could imagine that was true. He had taught Undyne to keep her magic in check while sparing. Before the training, Sans had had to forbid Papyrus from getting to close to her fights.

No. No, he would probably end up killing the turtle a hundred times before they got anywhere. "i'd rather not." Sans continued his journey home.

"Thats ok, I can wait." He gave another 'Wa ha ha!' before heading back to his shop.