Who Says You're the One in Control?

Are Qualifications Really All that Important?¿

Sans walked into Gerson's shop completely prepared to finally beat the old turtle. He had been lasting days of training before dying. He had survived months last reset.

He'd even accidentally killed Gerson a few times, and forced himself to reset. It wasn't as bad as needlessly killing monsters and resetting so he could pretend it never happened. Gerson knew it had happened. Gerson was alright with it. Only Gerson ever died.

When Sans walked in, Gerson had the same mischievous smile as he had the day he recruited Sans. It threw the skeleton off immediately. "what?" Sans asked.

"You're ready." Gerson said. Sans immediately knew what he was talking about. "Let's go talk to Asgore."

Sans half wanted to refuse. He was so anxious about being captian, he felt weak in the knees. What if he failed?

"Finally!" Chara remarked. "I've been waiting for this forever."

Sans was far less enthusiastic. He was terrified, in fact. Gerson led him to New Home. Sans didn't say a word the entire trip. Gerson seemed to understand. Chara didn't. They talked nonstop the whole way.

~

Asgore's jaw dropped. "S-sans? You want Sans to be captian?" He looked between Sans and Gerson. Gerson looked sure.

From what Asgore had seen even yesterday, Sans was in no place to lead. Asgore looked at the skeleton again. He was looking at the floor, his shoulders tense. Maybe Gerson had made a mistake.

Asgore wanted Sans to be in the Royal Guard. When Sans had told him he was training that morning, Asgore had been glad to see Sans being a part of the community, but captian?

He knew Sans had beaten Chara. However, while a human soul was more powerful than a monsters, most humans had no idea how to use even a fraction of that power. Keeping order as leader of the Royal Guard was a huge responsibility, and Sans was well known for neglecting such things.

"What makes you qualified to be captian?" Asgore finally asked Sans. He could see the visible flinch, and an immediate change of expression. Sans had as much doubt as Asgore did.

"uh..." Sans looked at Gerson to jump in, but the turtle understood the question was for Sans. "i.... um.." He looked at his feet.

Asgore sighed. Sans wasn't going to be able to stand before everyone as captian if he couldn't even answer why he deserved that opportunity. This had been a waste of time.

~

Sans was freaking out. Why did he deserve the spot Gerson was giving him? He didn't. He couldn't save Papyrus. He failed once, and now he was supposed to be in charge of protecting a whole race of monsters?

Asgore was walking away. All his goals were circling the drain. Everything he had worked for over the countless resets he had made.

"You're just gonna let him go?" Chara sounded only mildly interested. "I thought you wanted this."

Sans didn't want this. Did he? Why had he really done this? Why had he spent all those resets training? What exactly did he want?

He rubbed his temples. He had had a headache for so long. It was getting worse. He wondered if maybe it had to do with all the stress.

Maybe he should just give up and go home. His house would be a wreak when he got there. He would have to clean it again. He was the one who made it like that. That was who he had been. Did he really want to go back to that?

Wasn't that reason enough to want to be captian? It had given him something real to work towards. A diversion from the pain of Papyrus's death.

But that doesn't answer the question. What makes Sans qualified to be trusted by all those people? What gives him the right to ask everyone to follow and obey him?

He looked at Gerson for answers. The ancient turtle just shrugged and walked off. Sans knew he knew the answer, but Gerson wasn't planning on telling him. Were all old people this annoying?

Sans had no idea where to go next. He really didn't have anything else. If he wasn't going to be captian, he might as well go home. He had a long trip, and a lot of cleaning to do.

The closer to home he got, the worse he felt. He had failed. He couldn't do it. He was still as useless as he had been on day one. All his training was for nothing.

"Boy! I knew you were an idiot, but I never expected this!" Flowey chirped. Of course Flowey had to appear. Sans ignored it and continued home. The flower followed. "You're really just going to leave it like that?"

"Yeah, Sans, I thought you were actually gonna do it. Why'd you bail?" Chara hadn't said much about it during the walk. Even now, they seemed only mildly concerned.

Sans paused. "i dont have to explain myself to a murderer." It was a jab at them both, and they both shut up. Flowey left, Chara pouted, Sans went home.

He had forgotten the house would be a wreak. He stared at it for half a second before slamming the door shut and walking towards snowdin forest. He couldn't deal right now.

Sans meandered through the old, deactivated puzzles. He could still see Papyrus's face as he watched Frisk try and figure each one out.

He made his way all the way to the door he had spent hours talking through. Knocking, he sat against it as normal.

"Knock knock."

As expected, no answer. He answered himself. "who's there?" He used his mock Toriel voice.

"Iran." He ignored the tears that choked him up.

"Iran who?" His voice for her really was the absolute worst.

"iran outta puns... so i said a knock knock joke..." He couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

All his stress, his pain, his disappointment, his loneliness poured out of him. He missed Papyrus and the others that had died. He hated himself for failing to become captian.

He hadn't cried in a long time. He had a lot of tension built up, so he let it all come out through is sobs.