Who Says You're the One in Control?

Royal Misfits

"When I said come back in the morning, I meant tomorrow morning, not this morning. Wa ha ha!" Sans was peeved at Flowey forcing a reset, but Gerson's memory made Sans glad. The turtle remembered him. He wasn't alone.

"He's called the Hammer of Justice, so does he fight with a hammer? I mean... okay. Here's my theory..."

Sans wondered if Chara could talk all day. No matter how much he ignored them, they never seemed to get the hint that he didn't care. They just talked, and talked.

"Hey, no need to go zoning out on me." Gerson snapped his fingers in Sans' face. "Come on. Let's go meet the other members of the Royal Guard."

Sans followed quietly. Chara's excited chatter filled his mind, and put him in the mood to be quiet. He put his hands in his pockets and rolled his shoulders forward. The weight of depression pushed down on him hard.

He was curious to see who Gerson had chosen to be his future coworkers. Chara was listing off people they thought would be in it. Sans really couldn't see many people being capable of doing what Royal Guardsmen are responsible of doing.

When he went to the training room, all expectations flew out the window. He covered his face with his hands and groaned.

"Wa ha ha! Meet your new team!" Sans just sighed.

Standing before him were several monsters. Among whom were Heats Flamesman, Temmie, Burger Pants, and Grillby.

"Fucking Burgerpants?!?" Chara squealed with glee. "I'm so glad I died. This is the best thing ever."

Sans just looked at Gerson in disbelief. The elder turtle was having a good long laugh at his expense. "this... this is your Royal Guard?!?"

"No, sonny, I'm far too old to be captian. This is your Royal Guard! Wa ha ha!"

"what!?!" Sans mind was instantly filled with noises of joy from Chara. He flinched away, only to end up looking like an idiot.

"What, you think I'm training you so you can be just another member?" Gerson scoffed. "You're going to take Undyne's position as head of the Royal Guard."

Sans stared at him for a moment. Then he turned hopelessly towards the band of monsters. Temmie was licking a blotch of slime off the cave wall.

"YIKES! Wall slime NOT yums!" The creature was vibrating visibly. Sans wanted to die.

"Don't just stand there, go meet 'em!" Gerson pushed Sans towards the group.

"Hey, I didn't think you were joining, Sans." The bear that stood outside Grillby's walked over.

"Same to you. You don't seem into the Royal Guard." A respectable counter argument in Sans' mind.

"Well of course not." The bear laughed. "But hey, I heard people are more likely to vote in government official if he spent a term in the military." He shrugged. "That's just politics."

Yup. Sans should have really expected an answer like that. The teddy loved his politics. Last Sans had heard, he was trying to put together a committee to discuss the growing concerns about lack of support for misunderstood dogs and their love of bone shaped magical attacks. Something like that, anyways.

Sans chatted just as long as was necessary to not be rude and went to Grillby. "Why are you here? You have a bar, don't you?"

Grillby stared at him.

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"He says the customers were all gone, so he had to close up shop." The translator duck monster chimed in.

"That's a shame. wasn't that your favorite place?"

Sans did feel a loss at the new information, but he had seen Grillby shut down lots of bar fights. He was most likely the best Guardsman in the entire outfit.

Moving on, he found Burgerpants sitting against the wall a little ways away from the rest of the group. The greasy monster was smoking a cigar, and wore an expression that matched Sans' inner emotions perfectly.

"hey." He sat against the wall next to the cat. "i'm not sure if you remember me or not. i'm Sans."

"oh, uh... hey." The monster barely muttered loud enough for Sans to hear.

Awkward silence.

Sans looked for a topic to discuss. "so... uh.. you worked for Mettaton, right?"

At the mention of the previous star of the underground, Burgerpants sat up perfectly straight. "Yeah!" The expression on his face was even more fakely happy than Flowey's had been. Sans jumped back at the sudden change. "I used to work for Mettaton!!!"

"uh... okay??"

Burgerpants' expression fell. He looked timidly to the side. "I guess I wasn't a very good employee." He raised his hands as if a tragedy had just befallen him. His face was half crazed. "I mean, he literally said so much shit about me, so I must've been awful! He made my job shit!?!" Finally he calmed down. His expression deadened and he put his cigar back into his mouth. "I came here for a better life. Honestly, I wouldn't give half a shit if I died in this god forsaken group of misfits."

Sans knew exactly how he felt. He knew Mettaton was a horrible boss, especially to Burgerpants. The poor cat had been the victim of a number of songs about how horrible he was at his job.

"I love Burgerpants" Chara laughed. "His crazy expressions are so funny."

Burgerpants had been pushed past his limit by Mettaton. The fact that Chara thought it was funny made Sans wonder how long he had till he was completely insane.

Sans stood and headed back through the crowd towards Gerson. This entire crew had depressed him beyond caring.

"So, what did you think of your team?" Gerson asked as Sans slumped down beside him. Sans just sighed. "Wa ha ha! Don't worry too much. You should have seen the previous Royal Guard at first. Just about seven dogs sniffing each others behinds if you know what I mean!"

Sans huffed. He hadn't imagined it before, but he could see that happening in retrospect. He couldn't help but wonder how many years it had taken to get them to where they had been. Even that had been pathetic, but it was much better than... whatever this was.

Gerson stood up. "Come on, son. Time to start your training."

Sans nodded. He had never been serious about training. This time would be different. He had to do this. He had to get stronger. He had failed to save over 100 monsters. He wasn't gonna let anymore fall through the cracks.