A Beautiful Sin{Complete}

|15|

¥Toni¥

"Free fall down into the unknown
give you my heart and relinquish my soul
it's best for what life shall bestow
so I take a big step in the unknown

Never look back, for this is the choice
don't question myself, and keep my mind poised
take a look up, thank god and rejoice
because the truth is, I know I made the right choice

So I follow the path and forget the past
this devotion and emotion, I'll make sure it lasts
with passion so wide and a love so vast
pain and sadness will be things of the past"

It's been about a month since the blow up between Ava and myself; that day when she left my house sort of changed me. I never meant to hurt her feelings the way I did but after what we did I just couldn't bare to be around her... I know it sounds like complete bullshit but my mind wasn't right and with her pretty much pouring out her heart to me scared me.

I've never been with a woman before in my life and it damn sure never crossed my mind but after what we did and what I did, it had me thinking ever since. Everyday that I had rehearsals were different---Kenneth remained an asshole trying to bet me back and the band were still amazing but Ava started to avoid me. Ava wouldn't look at me and if she did it wasn't the same sparkly look that she had and she barely talked to me other than a few words here and there. We went on tour and it was still the same...she'd do what she had to do then leave and go join the rest of the crew.

We were now on the final leg of our tour and I was getting ready to close the show with the last song. After days and weeks of contemplating and thinking, I've finally allowed my heart to make the decision for me again even though the last time that happened it ripped it in two and of you were wondering the divorce was finalized between me and Kenneth. My mind was set on Ava and that was all it seemed like I could think of... I regretted the day I let my pride get through best of causing her to basically walk out of my life.

This song that I chose to sing was me pouring my heart out...after Ava left that day, I spoke with my sisters and they basically told me to go for it so that's what I want to do but I hope Ava gets what I'm saying with this song 'cause it's for her.

{All the lyrics that says 'man' or anything masculine just switch them to girl or woman or whatever}

¥Ava¥

I was on tour with Toni and even though I didn't want to be here, I chose to stay and go on with it. We were on the last song and I was getting ready to sing "He Wasn't Man Enough"but she without my knowledge had changed the song and started singing a totally different song. I listened to her sing and she sung with so much emotion as if she was singing directly from the heart. After the song was finished, she thanked everyone for coming and we headed back stage which I of course went to hang with the crew until we were ready to leave. I was talking to our drummer Jimmy when she walked up to me.

"Hey" Toni said

"Sup" I responded

"Uh can I speak with you for a minute"she asked

" I'm speaking with Jimmy"I replied

"No no it's cool I gotta go pack up anyways"said Jimmy

I rolled my eyes at his comment but obliged and went with Toni to have a 'talk'.

"What is it" I asked impatiently

"I miss you" Toni said

"Toni is what you called me back here for" I said

I was getting ready to walk away from here when she grabbed my arm stopping me.

"Please Ava" Toni pleaded

"What do you want from me Toni damn"

"I just wanted to say how sorry I was okay what I did and said that day I was out of line and I'm sorry...do you forgive me"she asked

" Listen you said what you said and I received every bit of it and I dropped it"

"Then why aren't you speaking to me"she asked

"Why...what's there to talk about"

"Ava I know I hurt you and I'm sorry but you gotta understand where I'm coming from... Ava please"

"Toni forget about it alright" I said

"I can't forget about it Ava that's all I think about...youre all I think about"

I looked at her as if she had two heads... I was getting confused.

"Where are you going with this Toni" I said

"Just hear me out okay. I know that day I said that we would never happen but I can't stop thinking about if we did happen. Now I know you're probably confused but please you're all I think about and I finally know what my heart wants and my heart wants you."said Toni

I stared at her for a while out of reflex, I started to laugh...this shit was funny

"So let me get things straight---you dissed me and claimed that you'll never want me and after you started feeling guilty all of a sudden you want me" I said laughing

"That's what I'm saying" Toni said with a sigh

"You selfish son of a bitch"

"Excuse me" Toni said taken back

"You're selfish and inconsiderate...after how many times I poured my heart out to you making a complete fool out of myself, you shut me down like I was some crazy person like I was a disgusting germ not giving a damn about my feelings and you found a new revelation and you decided that you finally want me and you expect me to just drop everything and accept that shit...you're insane."I said

"Ava please" Toni pleaded

"No sorry I'm not gay" I said then walked away.

Sorry for any mistakes💋