Somebody That I Used To Know

Chapter 11

More happy than not.

That was the title of the book written by Adam Silvera and it really represents what I'm feeling right now. In the novel, the protagonist underwent to a procedure where particular memories he picked will be erased. Since he doesn't know that he already went through the Leteo Institute (this is where the memory erasing process is done) when his life went downhill again, he decided to seek the help of Leteo again but he didn't continue because the people surrounding him objected and just showed their love to him.

If you would ask me, right after my heart to heart talk with Theo kung gusto ko na bang mamatay. I'll answer with generous amount of convinction and say yes. Just like that main character on that book, it's my way to forget. Just like him, I was friendzoned, well na-friendzoned siya I don't know what kind of zone-shit you will call my situation since Theo and I are far from friends now. Again, just like him, there are people around me na lagi akong nire-remind na I'm not alone. Kaya just like him, I chose to live.

Habang dinadamdan ko 'yung paglisan ni Theo at umiisip ng paraan para maka-move on, nag-ring ang cellphone ko at lumitaw ang caller ID ni Clark. I'm not mad at Clark. Again, I am thankful that I have him. He is not even partly to blame about my breakup with Theo. Somehow it's my fault. I should've told Theo about those things kahit na feeling ko ay maliit na bagay lamang sila and not worth talking about. In a relationship, whether maliit or malaking bagay, they matter. Never neglect the power of conversing with someone you love honestly. You know, little sincere talks can strengthen the trust towards each other.

Sinagot ko 'yung tawag ni Clark noon. And he immediately ask kung nasaan ako. I did not answer his question exactly at sinabi ko na lang na pabalik na ako. As much as possible that time, ayoko masyadong magsalita for he will detect a hint na umiiyak ako. Pero Clark really knows me. Kahit na kakaunting salita lang ang sinabi ko, alam niya na may mali.

Pinilit niya ako kaagad na sabihin kung nasaan ako exactly at ayoko naman siya na mag-alala nang sobra kaya sinabi ko na rin.

Nang makabalik ako sa villa, kasama si Clark na walang ginawa kung hindi pagaanin ang pakiramdam ko habang pabalik kami sa villa namin. He asked me once what happened pero I refused to talk about it. Hindi naman siya nagpamulit na alamin pa pero alam ko na bukas o samakalawa he will ask me again. I'll tell him naman, not just that day.

Upon checking the villa, nalaman na lang namin na Theo already left. Pero iniwan niya si Sophie. Wala kaming choice the next day kung hindi isama si Sophie sa sasakyan namin na walang ginawa kung hindi mag-rant about sa pang-iiwan ni Theo sa kanya. Nobody gave a damn about her, all I know is inikutan ko siya ng mata nang maraming beses.

I'm currently, more happy than not. I'm on the healing process. Mas naging masugid si Kent with his getting to know me move. The guy's not making me uncomfortable, he's actually really funny at kahit papaano he helps on easing the pain na nararamdaman ko. He's doing what he promised.

Ngayon nga, nasa restaurant kaming dalawa, sa kwarto na para lamang sa aming dalawa ni Steph, manager. Naging mas frequent ang pagbisita ko sa restaurant ko dahil doon sa letter na ibinigay. Supposedly no'ng isang araw pa dumating 'yung sinasabi na babawi ng restaurant pero wala namang dumating. Steph and I concluded na someone was just playing some trick on us. We disregarded it na lang and focused on making our sales improve.

So I would like to narrate the story of my restaurant, this was an old house of ours, ginawa ko na lang na restaurant para maiba 'yung ambiance. Every time kasi na pumupunta ako rito, puro mapapait na alaala ang bumabalot sa isip ko. Clark suggested na why not renovate the place and make it more lively. That's when we come up to make it a restaurant where our customers will feel na parang nasa bahay lang sila. Fortunately, it progressed.