rose petals and soccer balls

muddy rainboots

you spend your whole life trying to find her.
the girl who will pick you up,
the one who will blow you into the wind,
wisps of your personality floating away into bliss.

you keep walking. and waiting
standing silently at every bus stop
rain trickling down your back,
her voice hums in your ear
"find me, baby,
i will
fix
you."

you pick up your feet, turned into feathers
picking at your own split ends
raindrops fall down your umbrella that fade into mud
sunshine awaiting on the horizon

you walk to the edge of the universe
find yourself on a cliff
your muddy, feathery, dirty rainboots slip
you grab a branch, but you are losing your grip
yet again, her voice sounds,
"baby, please hold on
i will take your hand.
we will overcome this
i will
fix
you."

she cups you in her gentle hands
broken pieces of yourself trailing behind you
she gives you a smile, but you still grimace
your rainboots are far too heavy

you spent your whole life trying to find her.
the one whom will send you floating
she blows you a breath, but she doesn't send you afloat
you drift off the cliff
she is watching. waiting.
she will not
fix
you