right? - d. twins✔️

xiv

"um, has he tried to text you or call you?" i ask. he nods.

"a lot. but i can tell that after awhile he just gave up," he slides some pancakes on a plate, putting them in front of me along with maple syrup.

"i didn't answer any of them if that's you're thinking." ethan goes to the sink, rinsing out the dishes he's used, his own plate sitting on the counter. he sits on a tall chair next to me, and i watch him start to eat. i cock my head to the side.

"why are you helping me?" i question. he looks at me, furrowing his brows. he swallows, clearing his throat as he looks at me to talk.

"well, you are my family-"

"but he's your brother!" i cry.

"if you let me finish. there is no excuse for a man to hit a woman, no matter who they are, family or no." the knife in my heart turns. we shouldn't be having to talk about my husband this way. right now, i'm craving him, and it's a feeling that i can't get rid of. ethan looks just like him but...i can't kiss him. can i?

i take my chance, leaning in. he doesn't stop me as our lips connect, but it only lasts for a short moment. when i pull back, he only looks at me.

"now why are you kissing me?" he asks, not breaking his gaze on me.

i slowly shake my head, i'm lost for words, i don't want to speak, i just want him.

i slid off my chair, causing it to screech against the floor, and slide my hands against the slides of his face, cradling his jaw line in each palm, and i press my lips to his. for a moment there's nothing, then i feel him kiss back. it's soft, gentle, real. he slides off his chair as well and as i hear it screech, i feel him pull me close. his hands on my waist, so tight, so protecting. the kiss deepens, my hands move from his jawline to his hair, his grip tightens on my waist, i clench his hair in my hands as he pulls his face from mine. i open my eyes, still hazy, and i see the frustration on his face. his grip remains strong but he isn't looking at me.

i slide my hand back down to his cheek to try and make him look at me but he only nudges it away.

"not now...we can't do this now." he loosens his grip on me, but we still remain close.

i let my hands fall to his chest, it wasn't hard packed like grayson's, but it still felt amazing.

i feel heat rise into my face and the familiar feeling of suffocation consumes me, i can't stop these tears, and i won't even try to. i watch them fall onto my forearms one after another.

"please, please don't cry." ethan lifts my head up to meet his, he looks sincere, he looks so...hurt.

"we can't do this now, it's not right," he places his forehead to mine, and i can smell the maple syrup on his breath, "i'm so sorry...god i'm so sorry." he kisses my forehead and pulls me close to his chest, and i continue to sob into his disheveled shirt. 

his phone begins ringing on the counter, and we both look. he goes to check the caller id, and of course, it's none other than my husband. for some reason, i make him answer and put it on speaker. i stay silent.

"fucking finally." grayson's gruff voice comes through the speaker. ethan leans against the counter and i stand where he left me.

"what's up, gray?"

"what's up? that's all you've got? i know you're with that bi- i mean vivian, whenever the fuck you two are. can i talk to her?" i hold my breath. ethan looks at me pitifully. he lets out a sigh, relaxing his body.

"she's showering."

"well get her out."

"dude, i'm not going-"

"fucking do it!" grayson yells, and i can just imagine the look on his face right now. ethan doesn't say anything, waiting for him to calm down.

"sorry, i'm sorry. i just miss her, okay? like a lot." his tone becomes soft and quiet, and we look at each other, and the knife in my heart twists farther. i walk away, going into my room before he can see me cry. i sit on the bed, pulling my knees to my chest. i lay my forehead on them, sobbing so much i thought i'd never stop.