right? - d. twins✔️

xix

"yeah, i found out right before-" my emotions stop me and i stare off into space, tears welling in my blue eyes. that night. god, that night, why do i have to remember it so well? gray and i found out the baby was a girl just a few days earlier, and he was ecstatic. until he started drinking. he began calling our unborn child all sorts of names, and i could handle when he cussed at me, but not at my baby girl who wasn't even here to defend herself.

later, he had seized me, slamming me against the wall, trying to rip my clothes off.

eventually, he had his way with me, and he left me that night, curled up in the corner in the kitchen, afraid for my life on the tile floor. that next day while grayson was out, i found out. my body had hurt so bad, i had to crawl to the bathroom on the ground floor, having sat on the toilet for nearly twenty minutes, screaming and crying, and when i stood up, i remember seeing so much blood in the toilet, i threw up on the floor right after.

i knew i had miscarried my baby because there was something that didn't quite look right. some remains of pregnancy tissue, and i had wailed so loud, i was sure the neighbors had heard. i had to flush the toilet multiple times, unclogging it, before the bathroom looked completely spotless. it was like i was never there.

i retreated to our bedroom and rested in bed until grayson got home, and i was feeling imense pain, giving me all kinds of attention. he was running his hand over my stomach as if there was still a baby there. i didn't have to guts to tell him, and i still don't.

ethan holds me in his arms while i cry hot tears, closing my eyes tight. his grasp tightens on me the harder the i cry, and soon enough, i've cried myself to sleep in his arms.