Home For the Holidays

Back To The Country

STEF POV

"It's snowing mama! It's snowing! Look mama do you see it!?" Frankie happily yelled with so much excitement in her face that I could hardly contain the wide smile that formed on my own. We had just entered Tennessee and the forecast had predicted snow early this morning when we left the hotel and my babygirl was praying on it. Praying as if her life depended on it but I understood since she lived her entire life in LA.

"Yeah I see it baby. Just for you. It's cool right?"

"Super! Can we go sledding and ice skating?! Can we?"

"Sure sweetness. We sure can." Glancing her way again just seeing her so happy and excited melted my soul as she rested her eight year old feet up on the dashboard of the car with her striped candy cane socks. Sipping on some hot chocolate that I filled my thermos up with Frankie turned the radio to the Christmas station singing along to almost every song as her eyes grew wider from seeing the snowy roads. 

Explaining this trip to her had been challenging even if she was an easy going little girl, but the older she got the more questions she started to ask and I realized she deserved to know. She deserved to know where I grew up and who her family was.  Yes, it was wrong of me that I never told my my parents or my brother for that matter that Frankie even existed but I was crossing that bridge now and my body could surely attest to that.

Fifteen years ago I made the choice to move to LA to escape the life I had in Tennessee. Being born and bred there and knowing nothing else it was a rash decision and my mother begged me to stay. She begged and pleaded as my father refused to even speak with me saying if I left I could never come home. Ever. So, I stormed out with only a few bags in an old pickup truck, hugged my brother Mike goodbye, and never looked back. The real reason I left? Many.

LA proved to be lonely, crowded and rather dirty and I stood out like a sore thumb and so did my country accent. By this time it had faded a tiny bit only to reappear with certain words but the essence of who I was was still very present never leaving the core of soul. Never. I was a hunter, I was use to milking cows,  hell I had been in 4H club as a kid but much of that went out of my brain and the only thing I chased now were criminals. Ironically, I guess that was where I took after my father and so did my brother.

"But what about Santa mama? You think he will find me? Or will be go to LA?"

"I think babylove he will know where you are. I mean Santa and I had a big talk before we left for this trip." 

"Ma really? Come on." She said looking at me rather skeptically.

"Come on what love? What you don't believe I spoke to him?"

"Mama you can only write him letters."

"This is true but parents have certain access you youngins don't have." I laughed tapping the steering wheel to Jingle Bell Rock as she shook her head laughing as well." What you don't believe me huh?"

"Nope!"

"Well my sweetness, my honeybear, my dollface we shall see won't we?"  Poking her soft little nose I couldn't help but notice the look of contemplation appear on her beautiful light skin face as she giggled at me exposing her missing teeth that I found so cute. It was true and heartbreaking at the same time that Frankie was growing up right before my eyes every single day. Part of me wanted the time to stop for it felt like just yesterday that she was crawling to me, taking her first steps and saying her first words. I was grateful for her and the fact that were were so close mainly because it had been her and I from the beginning. From the time I found out I was pregnant and having zero experience I raised Frankie on my own with the occasional help from my friend Jenna.  Was she an accident? Yes she was for her father and I had just started to date heavily when I found out he was married with children. Instantly I broke it off despite him pleading he was leaving his wife for me but there was no way. No way was I doing that myself even if it broke my heart. It did especially when I found out a few weeks later after missing my period and throwing up every morning that I was pregnant. At the time I could have ended it and gotten an abortion but when I walked into the clinic I couldn't do it. I just couldn't so I ran out and made the choice to be a mother. A choice I never regretted ever especially the day I gave birth to her and her eyes opened immediately looking right into mine.

"We will see mama, and what do I get if he forgets? Huh?"

"Ha! A lump of coal!"

"What?! I'll give you a lump of coal!"

"Listen to you fresh pants!" I joked as she giggled so loud leaning her head back from it.

"Mommy?"

"MM?"

"So what is your mama like?"

"My mom, my mom is very sweet baby. Much like you." I winked at her as she grinned wide at me.

"Does she look like you?"

"MM no. My mama has red hair and she's shorter."

"Red? Really?"

"Yes love."

"Oh. What about your daddy?"

"Um I look more like him I guess."

"Oh. Do you think they will like me?"

"Baby I have no doubt in my mind they will love you, adore you and want to hug you. Who doesn't like you? MM?"

"You think?"

"Yes, I told you that sweetheart. Nothing to worry about. Now pass me some more hot chocolate please?"

"Opps."

"Opps?" I asked raising my eyebrow noticing the mischievous grin  on her face. 

"I drank it all." Admitting it I couldn't help but hear her giggle as I shook my head laughing.

"Well missy you are getting coal for sure! Two lumps in your stocking!"

"He! Look mama 60 miles until Gatlinburg. Isn't that your town?"

"Yeah babe that's it." I said feeling my stomach turn but knowing there was no going back now.

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Hope you enjoy this holiday story! It won't be very long but will last the month of December :)