Home For the Holidays

Old Wounds

LENA POV

Driving my old truck home ever since Mike came into the store I couldn't get my mind to shut off. I just couldn't as memories of my old friend returned to my brain, memories I had blocked out for they had become to painful. Memories of a friend that I knew since birth, had grown up with and loved. Loved dearly to my heart and soul but a friend who just left and it hurt me to my core.

FLASHBACK

"Oh you are so silly Lena!" Stef said laughing at me as the two of us were making popcorn and hot chocolate in my parents kitchen. These kind of Friday nights were typical for us since there was never, ever much to do in our small town of Gatlinburg. Most days after school Stef helped her parents and brother on their small farm while I helped my parents at our family general store.  Being we were only 18 it kept us out of trouble I guess but we had our moments still and were far from innocent. Many kids our age by this time were dropping out of school to help support their families on the land and make ends meat. Both our parents wanted more for us but neither Stef and I had given it too much thought right now.

"I am but you are way siller!" I joked throwing a popcorn kernel at her as she looked shocked at me.

"Oh man you are gonna get it! You are so gonna get!" Laughing hysterically she chased me to my living room couch where I fell on my back unable to contain our playfulness. Hovering over me her long blonde hair tickled my face and I boldly pushed it behind her ear as a small smile formed on her beautiful face. Did I find Stef beautiful yes? More as we had had gotten older? Yes. What any of it meant I didn't know for liking a girl was not the  normal especially your best friend that you knew since birth.  It was far beyond the normal as her piercing hazel eyes were burning right through mine and staring with so much intensity that I could barely breath underneath her. Stef smelled like roses, like flowers and earth. Sometimes she smelled like hay and dirt but I loved it because it was her. It was her and always had been but lately our friendship  was changing and neither of us were sure to what degree but it had been. Maybe it had always been different then most for she was so protective of me, affectionate and kind hearted. A few times, well only a handful of times when I went on dates she would get distant and almost jealous. Never did I think much of it for she brushed it off and we went back to being as close as ever.

It wasn't unusual lately when no one was around for her to snuggle close next to me as I sat in her arms, hold my hand and rub it softly and a few times she had kissed and pecked the inside of my neck. Did I like it? Yes. Did I understand what it meant. No. Continuing to gaze into her eyes I pulled the strand of hay that was stuck in her hair as she laughed.

"What you don't like a gal with hay in her hair miss lady?" She grinned kissing my cheek and moving off of me, sadly.

"Of course I do. You always have hay in your hair Steffy!" Instantly laughing as I called her the nickname I use to when we were kids she flashed me a look.

"I only let you call me that by the way. Anyone else will see my wrath." Winking at me she propping her feet up on our coffee table and chewed on the piece of hay I pulled out of her hair.  Sometimes I had to laugh at her because she was serious tomboy but my young heart yearned so much for her.

"Is your dad working late?"

"Yeah, and I gotta go feed Wilbur in a few then do my brothers tasks since he's out with little miss pain in my ass." She said rolling her eyes as I laughed.

"Katie Ann?"

"Is that her name?"

"Yes Stef. We have only been going to school with her for the past 15 years." I said laughing.

"Yeah, yeah. Come sit closer to me pretty gal." Laughing at her playfulness I scooted over to her as she wrapped her arm around me and rested her head on mine.

"Stef?"

"MM?"

"You're my best friend." I said as I felt her heartbeat through her old soft plaid shirt that she wore nearly every day.

"You're my best friend too Lena. Always will be."

"Are we going to cut that tree? You promised."

"Ha so I did. Let's snuggle a little more then we can love. Ya'll get your Christmas tree. I swear it."

"Ok." I whispered wrapping my arm tightly around her waist as she held me even closer.

FLASHBACK ENDS

Being that Stef was back in town I wasn't sure how I felt about seeing her again after fifeteen years.  Did I blame her for how our friendship fell apart? Partly because she distanced herself so much from me that we barely knew each other anymore toward the end. And that was painful for she gave me no explanation whatsoever for her decision and for the past 15 years I was kept wondering. Wondering what I had done wrong. Of course I thought about her often and what she was doing in LA, if she was married or had children. A few times I thought of asking Sharon for her number or Mike but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't for so much time had passed it didn't even make sense. Plus who was to say she even wanted to talk to me for she had left without even saying goodbye.

"Mama you ok?" Callie said snapping me out of my memory as we pulled up to our home.

"Yes honey. Let's head inside."

"Ok." Smiling wide at me we jumped out the truck as I wrapped my arm around her and pushing my memories to the back of my brain for maybe I wouldn't run into Stef.