20 Ways To Kill Yourself ➳ Bullied By 5SOS

Chapter 52 - Him

I lay there for what felt like eternity, until I heard a something of a voice, murmering far in the distance. At first I played it off as the faint vibrations of the train tracks which my head lay on. But when the sound started becoming clearer, I jolted upwards, opening my eyes and frantically looking around for the source.

"Maya... Maya."

Could it be?

Was it really... him?

I waited a few short moments for another sign, but when it didn't come I sat there pathetically. I lay my head back down and closed my eyes, taking the deepest inhale.

"Maya!"

I jerked backwards at the loud scream and in taht instant, I knew it was him.

But I didn't dare open my eyes.

It wasn't possible.

How did he know to find me here in the first place?

More importantly, how was he come here in the first place?

"You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. This isn't real. None of this is real. I saw you... you were dead. You weren't moving I - I know you're not real! Go away!" I spluttered incoherently, repeating my mantra continuously. Tears streamed down my face and I sobbed helplessly as my head was buried in my hands.

Was my mind really that pathetic?

"Maya."

I heard Ashton speak again, but this time I thought I felt something on my shoulder.

It was probably the wind...

"Maya, open your eyes."

I felt reluctant at first, but when I did... it felt as though the whole world had stopped around me.

There was my brother, seated cross-legged in front of me.

"Ashton, I, you, this - this isn't r-real. I, I, I'm - I don't know what, who, I..." few words left my mouth as I was barely able to form a coherent sentence through the tears and flood of emotions. I was a blubbering mess.

"Maya, this isn't you." He said simply.

"But how, I don't, I don't u-understand. THIS isn't you." I emphasised, so confused that it made my head spin wildly.

"The Maya I knew never gave up like this. She'd never admit defeat. She'd find a way to conquer every challenge that came her way. Maya, this isn't you." He repeated, simply ignoring my statements.

"But -" I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it again, realising I was too speechless to say anything at all.

Without a word, Ashton stood up and stepped onto the tracks. I didn't know what he was doing. And I didn't know what was going on....

He sat beside me, and then proceeded to lay down. Just as i did before.

"Ashton wait. Ashton what - what are you doing Ashton?" The ground shook slowly, and then more violently as the tracks vibrated faster.

"Ashton? Ashton! Ashton get up!" I turned my head round and saw a glimpse of the train as it began to approach us.

"Please Ashton! You can't do this! Please! Ash!" There wasn't much time.

The train's horn bellowed

The noise shattering the air.

Birds cawed loudly as the trees shook from where they nested.

The train came closer.

Closer, until there was nothing I could do but scream and scamper away.

My breathing was erratic as I slowly edged backwards, watching the train thunder away.

Ashton was gone.

There was no sign of him, or any remnants either.

No blood on the tracks and no breeze through the air.

He was just, gone.

My head pounded.

My thoughts were empty.

And my heart ached.

It seemed my heart was against my brain and Ashton was a mere figment of my imagination.

But for some reason, all I could do was laugh.

I didn't scream, I didn't cry, just... laughed.

"Son of a bitch." I muttered, shaking my head, but a smile on my face. I picked myself up and dusted myself off. And I walked away, without taking a second look back.

I was losing my mind

And if there was one thing I needed right now, it was a drink.

(a/n): i actually have 2 QOTC's for you guys today and they are:

1) is ashton real or is he just a hallucination 

and 2) have you ever hallucinated before?