20 Ways To Kill Yourself ➳ Bullied By 5SOS

Chapter 1 - Hungry

(A/N): so this isnt going to be like any other bullied by 5sos book, this one is going to be one where the 'victim' is like this really funny, genuiine, down to earth person. bbut because she's being bullied, she loses that and loses who she is as a person.

so yh enjoy... please vote if you like it + comment so ik what you think 

Now let me tell you something.

Getting slammed against the school lockers every morning without fail, tends to get kinda... what's the word... painful.

And no, I don't mean that in a romantic 'getting slammed against the school lockers by your lifelong crush who you've dreamed about being with since the first grade who then proceeds to smash their lips against yours, finally realising you're the one, and it gives you a weird feeling in your stomach' kinda thing.

No, no.

In fact the only thing that wasn't wrong with that whole statement was the weird something.

And, again, no I don't mean that in a 'cage of butterflies suddenly released and fluttering around' feeling and the sparks start to fly between you and your lover, soulmate, future partner, or whatever the hell you wanna call it.

I mean, the weird nauseating feeling when you're about to feel sick and get the urge to spray your morning breakfast across the school grounds with projectile vomit every time you see that one goddamn group who think they own the school and everyone else is beneath them - peasants.

Those faces who haunt you at night and make you question if it's really worth getting up every morning to face the day, only to be rewarded by torturous comments and making you wonder what in the actual messed up piece of crap (or more commonly know as) the world, is the meaning of life if every second is spent being constantly torn down?

I thought being bullied was all part of growing up, but I guess it's something you have to get used to after experiencing the same thing for two, going on three years now. Every day I have a new hope that maybe, just maybe things will change. It's an unrealistic hope, small but there.

And that's exactly what I continued to believe, even this morning when I was awoken by the peaceful sound of my alarm screaming at me to wake up and the wonderful feeling of sunlight penetrating through my curtains and burning a hole in my eyelids. Amazing, right?

I just love waking up at 6am to go to school, wouldn't you agree?

You know what rhymes with school?

Hell.

I turned off the stupid buzzing sound and dragged myself out of the comfy bed I would much rather spend the rest of eternity in and jumped in the shower.

The cold water came pouring down, instantly washing off any ounce of sleep I had left and making me regret not waiting for it to heat up. You see, my shower only had two settings; I just dived naked into the waters of the north pole, or satan just crawled out the shower head from the seventh level of hell and licked my back.

But out of them both, I think I prefered the latter.

After completing all the necessary morning routines I got dressed in a wooly sweater and some sweatpants considering the fact that it was -20 degrees outside and I didn't fancy freezing my butt off tonight.

I pulled my thin, already falling off, barely there hair into a low bun and put on my thick framed glasses that seemed to take up half of my face. I grimaced at the ridiculous reflection of myself in the mirror, rocking the full on nerd look with glasses and braces.

"Hurry up Maya!"

I almost jumped out of my skin, heaving my bag filled with countless useless books of things I will never need in my life (also known as education) across my shoulder and almost snapping my spine in half as I rushed out of my room and down the stairs to where my brother was impatiently waiting for me, a half eaten apple in hand.

"Honestly how long do you take?" He tutted, shaking his head at me while rushing out the door, only to be met by the cold air slapping against my skin.

"Sorry Ashton, but unlike you, I prefer sleep over school." I sarcastically replied, silently cursing the bipolar weather. One second it was like, 'yeah sure, it's gonna be nice and warm today' and then a few minutes later, it's like 'lol, nope sorry bitch but i'm gonna let you die of frostbite'.

I practically catapulted towards the car as soon as Ashton unlocked it, rubbing my hands together and blowing air into them in a useless attempt at heating them up.

"Did you not grab anything to eat?" Ashton asked as he stuck the key into the ignition, discarding of the apple core and starting the car up as I turned on the heating.

"I'm not hungry, got something in my bag though." I lied, not making eye contact with him as I found myself telling him the same lie every time he asked and receiving the same silence from him in return.

"I'm sure you're not." He muttered, as my stomach betrayed me, making its presence known as it growled through the silence. "What's up with you?" He asked, his eyes trained on the road as opposed to being on me, to which I was thankful for, as I had nothing to say.

"What do you mean, nothing's up, apart from the sky of course." I pretended to play dumb, nervously laughing and mentally cringing at myself for saying something so stupid. Honestly, people who respond with 'the sky' when asked 'what's up' need to be escorted off the face of planet Earth...

"You know what I mean, these past few years you barely speak to me anymore, and look at you, you never eat!" He seemed frustrated now, rubbing his forehead with one hand and holding the steering wheel with the other.

"I do eat." I said, almost too quickly.

"I'll believe it when I see it." He said, looking at me for a split second as I wrapped my arms around my stomach, feeling insecure as per usual. "You know you can talk to me right?" He said, his statement coming out as more of a question.

"I have to go." I said instead, choosing to not respond to him as I unwillingly dragged myself out the warm car.

"See you at home." He sighed, offering me a smile as I forced myself to fake one back.

See you maybe, I thought, walking painfully slowly towards the prison I would turn myself in for another year.

"Hey nerd, miss me?"