the kissing gate | simanda ✓

7. inappropriate

A couple of days later, Amanda realized what she had said to her little sister, Debbie. She realized that she wanted to have sex with Simon, both of them completely sober when they did. He had always joked to her that she wanted him and now it was true.

The thoughts about Simon being in her bed came when Amanda was trying to sleep on December twenty-seventh. She couldn't stop thinking about him and what they had done. She went through the events of Christmas dinner with Simon and realized that without both of them noticing, they were flirting with each other like teenagers.

Amanda had flirted awkwardly when she was a teenager and she suspected Simon had too. When his hand brushed against hers when he had to take a toy out if it's box for Eric, her heart seemed to skip a beat and sparks seemed to shoot up Amanda's arm.

Amanda turned in bed onto her side. It seemed almost impossible for her to sleep tonight and it was now early morning. She had been thinking non-stop about Simon for the past couple of hours when she had climbed into bed at ten o'clock that night.

"Do I really have a crush on Simon?" Amanda asked herself quietly. She was definitely desiring him, not quite lusting after him. The lust wasn't as prominate to her as the desire to have him in her bed, just cuddling her, like they had woken up the morning after their one night stand. Amanda wanted to feel Simon's arms around her and feel his lips kissing her neck as she tried to sleep.

Amanda knew that she shouldn't have a crush on the man that she worked with, especially if that man was her boss on Britain's got Talent and sat next to her on the panel. It should have felt wrong that she was having these feelings about Simon but it didn't feel wrong to her.

It didn't feel wrong at all that she most likely had a crush on an older man, almost eleven years older than her. It didn't feel wrong that she couldn't stop thinking about his eyes and the way his arms had felt around her body when she was waking up on Christmas Eve morning. It didn't feel wrong that she loved his laugh and how crooked his smile was. It felt right to her that she was having these feelings but that made it feel wrong to her.

"I do have a crush on him!" Amanda realized, whispering it to herself. She couldn't let him know about her crush, unless he expressed that he had a crush on her, which seemed unlikely in Amanda's mind. Simon liked leggy brunettes with a fairly large bust, although he did date brunettes with small breasts. Amanda was not Simon's type at all but there was a small chance that he could have a crush on her.

It seemed like too large of a chance that Simon could have a crush on her to Amanda. She turned onto her other side in bed and closed her eyes, trying to force sleep to come to her.

×

Sleep eluded Amanda for most of the night and she only got a few hours of restless sleep. Amanda had dreamed of Simon last night. She had dreamed of him taking her on a date and then bring her back home and making love to her in her bed.

Amanda rubbed her eyes with one hand as she walked down the stairs. She had fallen asleep late and woke up earlier than what she had wanted. If it was light out, her brain wouldn't let her sleep and it had been that way since she was a child. Her daughters weren't even awake at the early hour of seven in the morning.

Amanda turned on the coffee maker when she got to the kitchen. The coffee machine beeped when it was ready and Amanda poured out the coffee into a old, chipped mug that had been a birthday present from Chris the year Lexi had been born. That year Amanda had drunk so much coffee that it seemed as if she wasn't ever going to drink it again but she was addicted to her coffee.

She put in a creamer and some sugar as Lexi came down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning, darling," Amanda said, leaning against the counter as she sipped her coffee. "What are you doing up this early?"

"I heard the coffee maker go off. Can I have some?" Lexi asked, getting into a cabinet and getting out a box of cereal. "Please?"

"One sip. It's not good for children your age," Amanda said, giving Lexi her mug. Lexi took a sip of the coffee in the mug, swallowed, and made a face as it went down her throat.

"How do you even drink this every morning, Mum?" Lexi asked, making another face as she handed Amanda back the mug.

"You learn to like it as you get older," Amanda replied. "I also like my coffee stronger than what you would if you drank coffee at your age if I let you."

"When did you start liking coffee, Mum?" Lexi questioned.

"I think I might have been around fifteen, I think after my first kiss because it had been at a cafe and my boyfriend at the time ordered me a coffee," Amanda answered.

"That's romantic, Mum. Why can't I date until I'm fifteen?" Lexi responded.

"Because you'll have a level head about what's wrong and right in a relationship and you'll know your body much better than you do now," Amanda said. She already knew Lexi was curious about her body, Amanda had heard her exploring her nether regions, masturbating really, a few times in the bathroom and when Lexi was supposed to be sleeping.

Lexi blushed and said, "but I already know my body."

"You're going to learn more about what you like when you're older and you've probably already discovered some of what you like by masturbating," Amanda said wickedly. Lexi's face became redder and she mimed gagging.

"Gross, Mum!"

[_] hey guys! I have my phone back so that means that the update schedule is back to normal. I hope that you liked this chapter. How embarassing is Amanda as a mum? What did you love about it and what do you think is going to happen next? Bye until the next chapter!