This is just the introduction.
I was born in a small village called Coolville. There was no one you would see that you didn't know. I was born on the best day ever. The goats were making that sound that goats do, the horses were quacking, the cows were mooing and all of a sudden on the dark, cold and cool night, a baby's cry comes from a cottage. (I was born in a hospital but it makes it seem like cooler maybe if I was born in a cottage) everyone stops what they are doing and they realize, another cool person was born.
That cool persons name is, .
The cool person was me. I had it hard. I fell in cow shit once and had to take like a 2 hour bath, (btw i actually did this) everyone hated me because I was cooler than them. I wasn't scared of anything. But the one thing i feared was (and the only thing) was being lame.
I started traveling to America in 100 BCE, I hiked Mt. Everest and met a fortune teller along the way. her name was Edaliclya. She spoke to me and i asked her "What are u doing on the worlds tallest mountain?" she said "what are you doing on the worlds tallest mountain?" I simply told her "climbing the worlds tallest mountain!"
Edaliclya asked me if I wanted to know ny future, I said "why of course" she sat me down and said there was a reading. a powerful one. she said "you will one day become a legend, you will be the most powerful human. but you need to go back to coolville and stay there until 2005" and i was debating on going back but I thought why should I because I was already a legend and not too powerful so why listen to Edaliclya while I can make my journey to america and get there by 2005 by visiting all places before getting to America. So that's exactly what I did. I told her "I am not turning back. I am going to America by foot." and she said "I will put a curse on you! I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it is bad!" And I told Edaliclya I wasn't scared of her. I told her I wasn't scared of anything and went on my merry way.
On that trip to America, I did plenty of things. I climbed Mt. Everest, I was there for Martin Luther Kings "I have a dream speech", I was on the Titanic and helped save most of the people, I survived the Great Depression, I was one of the many people that built the Great Wall of China, I fought Abraham Lincons killer but he got away, I was the one who was going to sign the Declaration of Independence but sadly, the other guy got to do it. I fought in WWI and WWII and I draw Mona Lisa, Leonardo got jealous of me and pretended he drew it. I knew Mona Lisa btw.. I taught Einstein everything he knew. I also helped Beethoven write half of his music and I also built the first airplane with the Wright Brothers and helped film the MGM lion road, I also wrote half of Shakespeares plays. I built a pyramid.
In my years of traveling I met plenty of people, I met Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and Nikla Tesla, Abraham Lincon, Alexander Hamilton, Hellen Keller, Homer, Isaac Newton, Gandhi, Thomas Edison, Theodore Roosevelt, Kublai Kahn, Confucius, Suddharta Buddha, Nefertiti, Cleopatra and many more historical figures and influenced all of them.
By 2005, I reached america and met up with my family. I was 4 by now and then I started school and was an awesome person.
In fourth grade, I was a rap genius. And I had a rap battle with some guy who called himself "Dj Snootie Pants" my rap name was .
I won and no one heard from Dj S.P ever again. Cause I won the battle. I won and thats that.
Anyway, as I grew older and reached sophomore year. The curse started rolling into my life. Edaliclya you are a disgusting person.
My English teacher hates me and this starts everything I've been planning.
Today's advice-
have a crackhead uncle 😍
