My First Love / My First Lesson

My Past Creeping

On My Way Back To Class I Got A Text. "Chill It's Not Even All That, I Promise.". I Rolled My Eyes At The Screen. Why Do Niggas Lie So Much & If He Wasn't Lying Why Did This Bitch Feel The Need To Start Unnecessary Drama? I Was Lost In My Thought & Didn't Realize That I Was Talking Out Loud. "What's Wrong Ma?" I looked up to see Darrius standing a few inches away from me. "Nothing!" I Replied Harshly. I Don't Even Know Why He Was Comfortable Talking To Me Seeing As I Damn Near Went Through The Same Shit With Him. He Just Turned Out Not To Be Father. "Why You Gotta Act Like That?" He Said Grabbing My Arm. "Boy Move, Why You Touching Me? It's None Of Your Business What I Have Going On. Worry About Yourself." I Couldn't Stop The Words From Rolling Off My Tongue. The Look On His Face Told Me I Had Hit A Nerve But I Honestly Didn't Care. These Niggas Had Enough Of My Feelings & I Was Over It. "Alexa," He Started. "Bye Darrius." I Threw My Hand At Him & Walked Away. I Wouldn't Dare Let Him See Anymore Tears Drop. Yes I Still Loved Him But He Didn't Need To Know That.  I Walked Back Into My Class With My Head Down So No One Could See That I Was Crying. I Didn't Know Why I Was Crying, I Just Know My Feelings Were Hurt. I Wiped My Eyes & Continued Watching The Video. It Was Towards The End So I Had Missed A Lot Of It. Hell I Knew How Babies Were Born Anyway I Had A Ton Of Nieces & Nephews. I wasn't missing out on anything. Mrs. Sexton Got Out Her Seat & Turned On The Lights. "Damnnnnn." A Few The Boys Said Simultaneously. "Watch Your Mouthes." She Scolded Them. "Alright Since The Class Is Almost Over You Guys Will Have To Take The Test Tomorrow." She Said As She Walked To Her Desk. I Was Over Everything. I Just Wanted School To Be Out Already. We Had 5 Minutes Left Of Class & These Kids Were Annoying The Hell Out Of Me. I Felt My Phone Vibrate In My Lap. I Looked Down At A Text That Read "Come In The Hallway Bitch. NOW!".

I Grabbed My Stuff & Ran To The Hallway. Sha & Some Bitch Name Lonna Was Arguing. "Why Was My Bestfriends Name In Yal Bitches Mouths." Lonna Said Talking About Isha'A. "BECAUSE I WANTED IT TO BE NOW WASSUP BITCH!" Sha Said Ready. I Seen Darrius Standing Next To His Locker So I Ran To Him. "Can You Hold These For Me." I Hurried & Threw My Bags At Him. "Lexa Who This Bitch Think She Is." Sha Said To Me Laughing. I Looked At Lonna & She Was Still Going Off But Not Popping Off. I Didn't Do To Much Talking. "Man Lonna Wassup, You Making A Scene For What? You Wanna Fight Orrrr." I Said To Her As Sha Co-Signed. "Bitch I Been Wanted You." She Said Pointing At Me. "Come Get Me Then Ma." I Said Laughing. Bitches Wasn't Really On It. "Man This Bitch Not On Shit, You Scary Just Like Your Bestfriend. Next Time Pop Off My Nigga." Sha Said Picking Up Her Stuff. "Dumbass." I Said Sticking My Tongue Out. "Where Yo Bestfriend At Anyways? She Left You Hanging B." I Grabbed My Stuff From Darrius & Started To Walk Away. "Yo Can We Talk?" He Asked With A Sincere Look In His Eyes. "Darrius What Do We Need To Talk About?" I Asked Him Throwing My Book Bag Over My Shoulder. "Like Be Real, You Only Want To Talk To Me Now That You See I'm Happy. Why?" I Asked Him. I'm Surprised I Even Said That. Did I Sound Like A Weak Bitch? I Put My Head Down As I Realized I Was Showing Feelings. He Grabbed My Chin & Lifted It Up So Our Eyes Met. "It's Not That, I Been Wanting To Talk To You, It's Just I Never Had Time & Its Not The Fact That Your Happy, It's The Fact That I'm Not The One Making You Happy." Whaaattttt. Bitch. Did He Just Say That? Where Was This Enthusiasm When We Were Together? I Couldn't Help But Laugh. " That Was Cute. We Can Talk Darrius But It's Not Going To Be Anything More Than TALKING." I Mean He Was My First Love. It Was A Time I Couldn't Imagine Life Without Him But He Hurt Me So Bad. I Couldn't Keep Going Through That. I Had To Let That Hurt Go So I Felt A Simple Conversation Couldn't Hurt. "Alright Bet. I'll Come Over Tonight." I said. "I'm Not Gone Be Home Tonight. Try Tomorrow."