Boy Charming

Chapter Twenty-Five: Nothing to Lose, So Much to Gain

Today I broke my promise to myself to never ask anyone for help. AND I faced my fear of rejection and finally talked to Morgan… the real Morgan, in real life!

I couldn’t think of who I could trust with my secret. I guess I chose Morgan because I still confuse the real Morgan with the Morgan I made up in my head, the one I idolize and am great friends with… in my daydreams. But being homeless now has made me a little braver, like I don’t care what people think of me anymore. And since I’ve basically lost everything already (except Viros and Little Annie), I’ve got nothing to lose, right?

That’s what I was telling myself when I saw Morgan sitting alone at a computer in the library after school. I felt nauseous as I approached, but I kept reminding myself, I’ve got nothing to lose… and so much to gain. But no matter how you look at it, rejection is one of the worst hurts ever!

Morgan looked uncomfortable when I sat down in the rolling chair beside him, so I already felt rejected before I even spoke. It was OBVIOUSLY that I had sat down to talk to him, but he pretended that I wasn’t there. Maybe he was hoping I would just disappear. I was angry at first and wanted to punch his arm, but then remembered my gift of being invisible and decided I should maybe talk to get his attention.

“Can I talk to you?” I asked.

He looked at me briefly then back at his computer screen. I think he nodded his head so I continued,

“I was thinking that, I mean I was wondering if you… I don’t know, actually it’s like this…”

My mind went blank and I could literally feel my face turning red. I should have thought the conversation through before approaching him, but it was too late and my mind was drawing a blank.  He finally looked at me, probably curious at what I could possibly be trying to say to him. But as I babbled on, without getting anywhere, his attention went back to his computer. He was doing research on one of our homework assignments. That’s when I got a brilliant idea.

“Can you help me with my math?” I asked.

“You’re good at math.” He said, looking confused.

“I don’t understand the exponential equations. I mean I understand them but I wasn’t at school that Friday, and I don’t know how to solve an exponential equation when the base is a fraction.”

It felt like forever before he spoke again.

“When do you want to study?” He finally said. I felt like I’d just won the lottery.