Carnation || Todoroki Shouto x Reader

• Resolve •

Gagging the petals out of your system, you found it hard to breath.
The majestic carnation petals, white with streaks of red, covered with your crimson blood. Even the flower he represented is an epitome of his beauty.

The gagging stopped. You picked up the flower from the sink, freeing it from the blood, you've seen the whole beauty of it.

It was bursting with life, letting you estimate how strong your love for him is.

You love him...

You love him so much that it literally hurts

Tears was streaming down from your eyes. Not from sadness, not from pain, but from the fear and the joy of knowing you love him.

You wondered how long will you last...

-----------

"It's positive, you have the Hanahaki Disease (l/n)"

Recovery Girl said to you with sad eyes. You didn't react, you pretty much concluded that it was the Hanahaki disease.

You had the urge to throw up in the middle of the class but you were quick to excuse yourself. That's the reason you were here.

You're scared, but you're ready to face the cold hard truth.. Closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, you opened your mouth to ask,

"How bad is it?"

The older woman was troubled, she didn't expect that one of the students here was experiencing something like this. You are certainly the first one.

Either way, Recovery Girl cleared her throat before solemnly answering you

"The petals you've been throwing up are unnaturally alive. Usually, the petals people spit are dry with a little life. Yours are different, of which it indicates that your condition is...... a lot worse than the usual"

You took a deep breath trying to accept your situation calmly. You gestured the older woman to go on.

"The flowers in your lungs are growing in an abnormal fast pace, this is not good (f/n) (l/n)... you need to undergo a surgery or confess to the person you love immediately.. if you won't imply this (f/n)... you know what will happen to you.."

"How long will I last?"

"...I assume that you won't even last for two months..."

You let out a shaky breath. Less than 2 months?... that's too soon..

Surgery is out of your option. You're not willing to forget about him. Todoroki was the only reason you were holding on to life. After your parents died, the whole world became Monotonous, you felt empty, it's like you have a huge void in your heart.

But when you met him, the world around you started to vivify anew. Even if you're just watching him from afar, even if he doesn't know you exist, you felt enough bliss just by his very existence.

You're not willing to feel that void again, but more importantly, not remembering the man you love gives an odd churn to your stomach.

Now your feeling nauseous just by thinking about him. Recovery girl was right. Your condition is severe. Even if that's the case..

You would rather die than to forget him

----------------

You were coughing when you saw him reading a book while sitting on the bench at the station. You cleaned your mouth before you gathered your courage to sat beside him.

Adjusting your glasses, you took a quick glance to the boy beside you before looking forward.

Both of you are waiting for the next train, the station was almost empty, so you thought that it might not be that bad if you open your mouth.

"Hey, why do people fight?." pausing for a few seconds before opening your mouth again "I mean, people fight for what they believe , people fight to conquer their weaknesses and people fight to continue living..." You let out a sigh "People fight even if they know the results will be hopeless.. why do humans try hard to achieve something even if they know that they'll be hurt in the process, even if they know that they don't have a clear guarantee of success..."

You heard a rustle from a book turning to another page.

"That's the whole point of living. Humans existed unfree from problems. The moment we are born, hardships are automatically written in our lives. Humans fight hoping for a change, no matter how many times they fail, no matter how exhausted one might feel, the fruits of their sufferings will be worth it."

Todoroki responded, he was still reading his book, that is why he didn't see the gaze you're giving him. The man was incredible, he always caught you off guard. That answer made you smile, the man you love is indeed extraordinary.

"Well, if you put it that way..." A small smile was forming on your face, you ignored your urge to vomit right from where you are. The book was still being used by him, silence filled the air around you. You absolutely love silence, and the silence you felt with him was definitely your favorite.

The conversation you had with him was long, but the train have to arrive. He bid you a goodbye, you responded to it. You know you can follow him because both of you are neighbors.

But the more you talk with him, the more you were suffocating. The petals from your lungs desperately wanted to be set free and you can't allow yourself to vomit flowers in public, especially in front of him.

So you let him go while you remained waiting for another chance.

((A/n: that's misinterpreting Lmao))

________

That little bench in the station has been your meeting place, where the both of you converse for a lot of things, usually random.

The conversations you had with him has been giving hints about his behavior. He was as kind as you thought, that's the trait you've noticed from the start. What was surprising is that he is actually empathetic, but he has trouble of showing it outside. He was so used to keeping it all in, keeping his emotions intact, that he unlearned how to express his emotions.

He was caring too, and a real gentleman. You remembered how he switched places with you when both of you are walking towards the station. That was when you were walking on the path beside the roadway, he softly pulled you to his current position successfully changing places.

He captivated you for heavens know how many times. Now, you were sure that you won't even last a month

"Hey, we were talking for plenty of days now.."

"Yeah.."

"You know Todoroki Shouto, I..." love you "...admire you a lot."

"Really?" He chuckled

"Yep, I assure you.. just by talking to you really makes me glad.."

"Well, my sentiments.."

"Huh?"

"I enjoy talking with you too.. you seem different from me, that's why I view you interesting..."

Stop (f/n), you're getting your hopes up, but that phrase just can't seem to erase the smile on your face.

You were going crazy

Crazy for him

It's getting harder to breath

You can't breath

You commenced throwing up before you've known it,

And he was there with you..