Life On Tour

Nine

I rushed off pretending to be looking for Holly, instead making my way straight to the cars.

We'd had the buses parked at the arena but now that the show has finished they had been packed up and were waiting at the hotel.

I grabbed Alex along the way and shoved him into a car "To the hotel please" I whispered, scared the panic attack that was building would bubble over before I was safe in mine and Demi's room.

"Um I wasn't ready to leave yet" Alex stated as he nudged me with his shoulder.

"I know but I need a smoke and you can join me, plus you owe me for not busting you guys with the fucking pot" I laughed and he nodded along, a smile creeping onto his face.

As the car pulled up, we stepped out throwing a hasty thank you and dragged ourselves to the wall to smoke.

I struggled to light the smoke and Alex carefully grabbed my hands and lit it himself.

"What's up Callie? Your hands are shaking" he whispered.

I remembered so vividly how he had carried me to my bunk and kept me close while I cried. Never once pressuring me to say anything, suddenly realising he'd never brought it up again.

"Thank you...for the other day...when you had to carry me. I shouldn't have...done that" I finally whispered and he simply shook his head.

"We're a family Callie, we take care of each other. It doesn't matter if you scream or cry or anything, we will always be here for you" he spoke, clearly reciting a speech he'd been given many times.

"I'm okay" I whispered and he left it at that. I knew he didn't believe me, but as I stepped on my cigarette butt and then carefully picked it up to put it in the bin I realised he'd figured out something Demi hadn't.

That I wasn't going to open up if he kept asking, maybe he was the same, but the casual way he asked me made me want to spill my guts.

"I gotta go get my shit together, Demi will kill me if I'm late again" I laughed, remembering how no one had bothered to tell me the first day leaving time.

He lit up another smoke and shrugged "I should be packing up but now Webb can do it alone" he laughed.

I waved and headed up to my room to clean. Well I had been, until I got a text from Rory.

Have to move back in, Dean got kicked out of his parents place. I'll keep in contact I promise, try not to worry x

I felt the familiar ache beginning in my left arm and raced to get upstairs. Jabbing at the elevator button before giving up and racing up the fire escape stairs.

When I finally reached the hotel room my arm was on fire and my thigh had started creating shooting pains.

I stumbled with the key card twice before finally managing to get the door open and I rushed to my bag to find my meds.

I swallowed the two pills without water and walked into the bathroom, turning the heat on all the way.

I hastily threw my clothes on the bathroom floor and climbed into the shower, sliding down the wall as my tears finally streamed down my face.

I just had to last until the meds kicked in. The memories were coming at me full force and I let out a loud scream, trying to drown out the noise.

The pain in my leg increased and I let out a small whimper with the memory it brought on.

The crunch of metal in my ears had me throwing open the shower door and crawling free.

The pills weren't kicking in fast enough and I felt my leg stop moving, becoming a dead weight.