Played For A Fool

The Real Monster

Tears ran down Cress's face as she sat in her room. All of the blinking lights had gone, causing Cress to feel an overwhelming sense of abandonment. Those computers had been her only friends for years.

The darkness was like a hole, eating her alive. It was like a disease, slowly entering into her body to kill her. It was monsters made into one solid being, that only came out at night.

Cress had been afraid of the dark since her mother had died. Her father had told her that there was nothing to fear, that no monsters lived in the dark. He had always checked under her bed, and in her closet just to humor her, telling her that monsters weren't real. Now Crescent knew that the monsters had never hid under her bed, the real monster had been the one checking. The real monster was the one telling her that monsters didn't exist. The real monster was the only person Cress had left.

It wasn't just the loss of her computers and hacking equipment that made Cress feel abandoned though, it was the fact that she had lost her only family that she had left. He had never loved her, and if he had then it was only for her talent. He only saw her as a way to get what he wanted, and he would do anything to kill Selene Blackburn. He would even lock his own daughter up and make her torture the only people who actually cared for her.

Cress felt so guilty for everything. She could have told Cinder when she had the chance that her father wanted to kill her. She should have told her that very first day, but she didn't. She had let Cinder come into contact with her parent's murderer multiple times, though she had never done anything to stop it. She hadn't even put up a fight.

Cress had tried to contact Cinder, only a few short hours ago, to warn her about her father, but she had been too late, too messy. She had dialed the number into her cell and everything. That was when her father came. That was when he yelled at her for betrayal, and broke all of her computers. That was when Cress realized that her father had gone mad. That was when Cress knew that her father was gone.

If it weren't enough for her father to break what was most precious to her, what he did next was absolutely unbearable. He forced Cress to feed lies to her only friends. He made her tell Cinder that Kai had tried to kill her, when the real killer was breathing down Cress's own neck.

Dr. Sage Darnel had then made Cress call Kai, her childhood best friend, and tell him that Cinder was in the hospital for a car accident. Her own father had forced her to tell the most brutal lies of her life, and Cress felt nothing but guilty.

Guilt was a brutal thing, and it was eating Cress alive. It curled inside of her, until it was all that possessed her. She wanted to scream for the agony it caused her. She wanted to curse at the wind. Cress wanted to do anything other than let the silent tears drip down her face, but Cress had been a coward.

Why couldn't she be brave like Cinder? Or smart like Kai? Why hadn't she thought of a way to let them know? Why hadn't she just swallowed her fear of her father's anger and told Cinder to run, and to take all her friends with her? Why was she so afraid?

These questions circulated around Cress's brain like clothes in a dryer. She had never been enough for this, for anyone. She hadn't been strong enough to stand up to her father, but she also hadn't had the guts to help him avenge her own mother. Cress had let it go, and if anyone were responsible, it was Levana, not her niece. Stars, her own father was more guilty than Cinder.

If Cress felt pity for herself, she felt unbearable sorrow for Cinder. Cress knew what it felt like to lose a parent, and the fact that Cress's own father had killed both of Cinder's made Cress feel sick. Every problem that Cinder had in her life was Sage Darnel's fault, and the only person who felt sorry for it was Cress.