Simply Audrey

Chapter 5

"I'm sorry?" I say, sure that I couldn't have heard correctly.

"Audrey, you're going to go live with your dad in California," my mother sighs, taking her hands off of mine and folding them neatly in her lap. I notice Dave's jaw clenching, expecting an argument.

"No, I'm not!" I say, standing suddenly, the movement sends a wave of pain through my chest.

"Just hear me out." My mother pleads.

"No, you expect me to go and live with the same man who walked out on us! I don't know this man!" I scream, and I feel tears burning at my eyes.

"Audrey, sit." My mother says, in a firm manner.

"I'm not a dog," I say irritably, "you can't talk to me like that."

"Then stop being a little bitch and I'll be able to stop treating you like one." My mother says, I am shocked, never before has my mother been so harsh.

I move towards my seat again, hurt by her words, "You could be a little more sympathetic you know."

"Sympathy won't make you strong," my mother says surprisingly soothingly.

"Explain this then," I say, realising that in order to get my way, I must at least pretend to consider. I take my seat again.

"Your father and I-" my mother starts.

"Oh for god sake please just call him Michael." I snap irritably.

"Alright then," my mother sighs, "Michael and I... I really don't know how to tell you this."

"Just say it as it is," Dave helps.

"Okay, Audrey, you must understand that everything I have done was for your benefit and I did it all because I believed it would be the right thing-"

"Mom just tells me already. I need to go to bed," I say, pressing her because I don't want to hear her excuses.

"Michael didn't walk out on us. Not completely. Your fa-" she cuts herself off, "Michael always had a passion for film, acting and directing, he always wanted to be a top name in Hollywood. And I supported his dreams because, well, no one else did. I supported him despite never believing he would make it. Just before your eighth birthday, he made it. He actually made it. He was chosen as a lead role in a block-buster movie and he was so excited. This of course meant instant fame for him. I didn't believe that growing up in front of a spot-light would be good for you. I didn't think it would be healthy. But your father was so adamant about this job that I couldn't get him to step down. He didn't see how bad growing up in front of a camera would be for you. And then a spot opened up in the movie for the role of the young daughter and he suggested you to the casting directors. I would not have that. He went behind my back and sent a video from your school play for the casting directors to look at, and you got the part. He was going to tell you on your birthday but I was so angry at him," she starts choking on tears and I feel anger starting to boil inside me. "So, I sent him away. Audrey, I sent your Michael away on your eighth birthday and I let you hate him ever since."

I'm not sure how to react.

Who am I supposed to be mad at? My mother who kept the truth from me? My father who didn't fight to stay? Who didn't give up a job for his daughter and wife? Left us for the fame? Dave for never mentioning anything about this?

I sit in shocked silence. I feel my forehead rumple as my eyes become wet with tears. I feel a headache coming on and a lump rises in my throat.

I do the most logical thing to me in this moment. The thing that comes to me most naturally.