DIARY OF A RAPPERS BABY MAMA

Just a small town Girl.

You only see the nice cars , the expensive jewelry, the stylish shoes and clothes , pricy pads and a considerable amount of allowance. Well follow me behind the scenes .. where the only bitch that ever believed in him, encouraged him to reach for the stars and persue his music, and was with him when he didn't have shit to his name , just a notepad and a dream... Follow me closely behind the scenes and you'll see exactly where I went wrong. Double R been dragging me through the mud since I met him . But by now I'm used to it. Part of me love Double R don't get me wrong, but I was beginning to only feel like an option when I had made him so much of a priority for so long . Where do I even begin to tell the story , the story that has become OURS with so many twist and turns plus people.

I met this 22 year old lightskinned guy , handsome , charming , swagged out, with a hustle that matched mine.  What had me falling for this guy so quick , to this day I don't know because the signs were there but we'll get to that later.  Needless to say I was intrigued and blind ready to follow him to the end of the world if thats what it led to. 

He became possessive quick and my dumb ass was turned on by it. Somebody wanting to know my every move , concerned with where i was going and who was i going with , and what time i'd be home.  It had me thinking damn I got this nigga like that and we aint do shit but text oh  he CARE CARE.  However my reality was altered and this was far from the right thing.  Things moved pretty quickly with us I was his wife and he was my man! We talked constantly, he never tripped on me about seeing him it was on my time so that had me thinking he wasnt pressed for sex but later i found out he had a girlfriend at home with two kids and pregnant with his third.  Anyway we eventually linked up , i remember the day like it was yesterday. I had just gotten my hair done and we planned to see each other all day ! As yall know the beauty shop can be unpredictable I was in that jawn til 10 at night. Mind you at this time i'm running the streets doing my thing not going home on weekends so YUP I met up with him on the late night. The night went smooth we talked about life , he brought me food, we smoked and just laughed and talk it felt so right and it was everything i waited for we ended the night with passion and great sex. The next morning I saw a different side of him, I wasnt rolling the weed fast enough and I'm not one to be rushed or talked to any kind of way so my tongue became a pistol telling that nigga to calm the fuck down its just weed! His ass jumped off the raditor like a frog and I was the lilypad, he got so close to my face I could smell the fire and anger on his breath, his eyes got big like he just took a pill , he then squeezed my hand with the weed and wrap in it and said " Do not fucking play with me ,you dont wanna see how I get" I shoulda took heed and left and never turned back. Instead i grabbed my shit and stormed out.

We didn't talk for like two days , he was texting me begging and pleading and eventually I gave in something about him made me weak. Against everything I knew I didn't care just somehow figured I wanted to be up under him. To hear him tell me how pretty I was and how I made him feel like he could conquer the world and go after any dream he had in mind. He made me feel like I was the only person he had while all these odds were against him.
Things were okay the next couple weeks. I adapted to the person he was , and learned what triggered him so I just wouldn't do it. I convinced myself this is how its supposed to go , he my man im supposed to listen to what he saying and maybe I am doing to much or dressing to sexy so he has every right to grip me up, call me stupid, and remind me why I dont have people in my circle. I WAS THE PROBLEM i told myself I gotta get it together fast or im going to lose the nigga I love. Yes I loved him or maybe I was in love with who I thought he was and how he carried himself.

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