Further Up & Further In

Flowers For Her Grave: Chapter 1

A/N: The next 10 chapters of Further Up & Further In will be dedicated to my attempt at the Susan Pevensie story, post-Last Battle. Chapters 1 & 2 follow a sort of prologue, about how she forgot, and Chapter 10 will be the epilogue. While I am pretty happy with how this turned out, I must say that this is only the condensed version of what I think her story would be. Given the chance, I would flesh out characters, add more storylines, and this short story would become a novel. This story was especially important for me to write, and I hope that comes through as you read it. Without further ado, please enjoy this story that broke my heart to write: Flowers For Her Grave.

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One of Susan's biggest struggles upon becoming a queen was figuring out the Narnian calendar. It did not match up to her preconceived 365 days, and the months had strange names, and on top of everything, the Narnians had largely lost track of the months following the Witch's winter reign. 

At the beginning of their reign, this was very important to Susan. It mattered to her to keep track of the days, and weeks, and months, and years. ("It's only logical," she often said.) So, with a little help from Edmund, and guidance from their Narnian advisers, they set the calendar year in motion again. 

As their first year in Narnia passed, Susan suggested they go back to Lantern Waste and visit the lamppost that first welcomed them into that strange and beautiful country. It would be an annual thing, she insisted, to commemorate their coming into Narnia, and to remember what they left behind. And so, at the beginning of spring, on what they decided would serve as their one year anniversary, (though Susan always felt bad that they could never be certain,) they mounted their horses and rode off through the woods, (followed, of course, by advisers and soldiers who didn't feel comfortable letting their child kings and queens ride off alone.)

Along the way, Lucy often made them stop so that she could pick some flowers. Snowdrops, primroses, and daffodils had just begun peeking up, and she couldn't resist. But Edmund, (who, while being a lot nicer to everyone on the whole, was still a child and sometimes couldn't help himself,) got irritated quickly, and began to complain whenever Lucy asked to stop. 

"What are they even for?" he would groan.

"It's just the sort of thing people would do back home. It's a sign of respect!" she replied brashly. The sentiment made her feel quite grown up.

"It's a wonderful idea, Lu," Peter assured her, giving Edmund a royal glare.

But Susan didn't like it. It reminded her too much of putting flowers on a grave.

When they arrived at the lamppost, Peter helped Lucy off her horse once again, and she placed the flowers she had collected delicately at its base. Then the four Pevensies stood in silence, unsure what to think, say, or feel. They wouldn't admit that they missed their parents, although it crossed their minds, because it didn't seem the type of thing they felt kings and queens should do. Susan especially wondered about her mother; about whether she missed them, and how she was coping. Peter thought of his father, off in the war, and wondered if he would be proud of him. Lucy, meanwhile, thought less of what her parents were thinking and doing, and more about how she wished they were there with her. They rarely crossed her mind in the hustle and bustle of life at Cair Paravel, but now, gazing at the lamppost that signified the end of Narnia, she couldn't think of anything else.

Edmund, of course, was too proud to express any kind of feeling on the subject, though in his heart he thought the same things as each of his siblings. Did their mother miss him terribly? Would their father be proud of the man he was already becoming? What would he give if they could be with them once again? His eyes shifted to the direction from which he first entered Narnia. Was the wardrobe door still open there behind the trees? Could he go home? But he wouldn't. "Well," he finally huffed. "What do you suggest we do, Susan? Stare at a lamppost all day? Let's get on back."