Further Up & Further In

Slow Hearts, Slow Hands

They began quietly; soft as sand.

They'd learned to hug as children, but unprompted hugs felt awkward between them now. They'd been awkward in the first place as the part of Cor that was still Shasta shied away from touch, and flinched at every raised hand, but he'd learned to trust these people as he discovered that they didn't plan to hurt him. And so their young selves were taught to be friendly, and touch was a natural extension of that. They were still young, of course, but so much older now, and so in love with each other. This made all the difference. Some hugs felt natural, the way they sank into each other. Aravis' head on his chest, or tucked into his shoulder; Cor's chin resting on her head, or his face buried desperately in the crook of her neck. They needed each other, almost. They rushed to each other in fear and celebration, and each embrace felt like it should be. But eyes were watching, and the two of them wondered if it was better not to touch at all.

Truthfully, they didn't prompt many whispers, but as time went on, they began to care about them less. They walked hand in hand, or arm in arm. Cor would tuck Aravis' hair behind her ear as if it were second nature to him, and she would rub his back when he got frustrated. Their eyes found each others' easily, and they would smile without intending to. To the two of them, it felt rare. The soft touch of the other became so subconscious and so familiar that they nearly believed they never touched at all. They didn't even notice it.

Despite that, it was ages before they first kissed. Already they were older, and they felt like an established fact. All their hugs and caresses felt more meaningful now, and they considered everything they did, but still neither of them had any experience in kissing, outside of hands and foreheads. Perhaps the thought made them nervous. Perhaps they were just happiest to take it slow. Regardless, Cor tried to initiate their first kiss one night on the little balcony outside of the study he so liked to hide away in. He took her hand and let their fingers intertwine, and started to speak. He tried to compliment her, to tell her what he wanted, all the while hoping it would be natural if he leaned down to kiss her. They looked one another in the eye as he willed himself to just do it, but Cor had always been cautious. Even now he was terrified of the consequences should he do something wrong, so after a moment of struggling to get the right words out, he turned away. Aravis, though, knew him too well. As he turned away, she let go of his hand and pulled his face toward her own. They had no idea if it was any sort of spectacular kiss, but it felt right, and that was enough for them. In later stories they agreed that they both initiated it.

They ended up liking kissing, though they set up boundaries of their own. No one was ever scandalized by walking in on them in the study, and no one ever shamed them for their displays at dances. They were never too private, and they were never too public, and they were happy like that. Cor and Aravis liked going slow. They liked their time being their own. No rush to clean up before "Father" got home, and no rush to marry a stranger. Their hearts were happy, and they were comfortable. So they kissed; quick pecks before breakfast, tender ones before battles. Stolen ones in the hallway, and kisses that grew longer with time.

Aravis was considered royalty even before Cor married her, and she was a princess before he even proposed, so she took to being queen quite naturally. Everything felt natural now. Aravis would dance at the balls, more often than not in Calormen-inspired dresses, until Cor - who had never liked being the center of attention - couldn't help but join her. And when he did, he would kiss her just long enough to turn heads, and then pull her into his arms and dance with her as she laughed joyfully. He found that being stared at wasn't so bad when she was next to him.

The two of them would insist on sitting next to one another at feasts and meetings, and would hold hands in every second they could spare. They aged together, and they were so in love, even then.

They began quietly, but grew louder.

They'd been wary of rumours when they started their relationship, and had done their best not to do anything worth gossiping about, but their physical affection grew out of their love as naturally as flowers in the spring. They couldn't help it. In fact, they didn't need to. There was nothing scandalous about what they did. Cor got braver with his kisses, and Aravis teased him with silly faces instead. They held each other close when they danced and smiled dreamily.

They were hurricanes and raindrops and sunshine, sometimes all at once.

Soft as sand; solid as stone.