My Quick Writes

The Darkness...

Possible trigger warning. Please come to me if any of you need to talk. I'm always here for you. Love you all.

The darkness is overwhelming.
The pressure of everything starts to close in.
I'm being pulled deeper and deeper into the cold murky seas in my head,
By the demons I've tried to hide and drown and keep under the surface.
I keep going deeper.
It's getting darker.
More suffocating.
Pressure building.
They way to get out is to swim.
Swim up until I reach the top of the water.
But I can't.
They won't let me.
The weights are too heavy.
They're on my wrists
My ankles
My heart
And soul.
They help the monsters to keep me from swimming away from the darkness.
To keep me from drowning in my mind.
To keep me from being me.
How I used to be.
How I wish I still was.
But I'm not.
I may not ever be again.
There's a hand reaching for me from above.
I reach for it.
I go to grab it.
But then it disappears as I'm pulled faster down.
To stop me from reaching the hand.
What I want to be there for me.
The thing that could save me.
They've made me do things.
The monsters in the deep.
Bad things that shouldn't be done.
The water the fills my lungs hurts
But I hide the pain with a smile.
The tears still fall
If any can at all
I'm starting to think I'm running out.
But they're drowned out when they do
By the water the surrounds me.
When does it stop?
Why doesn't it ever stop?
I just want everything to stop.
To be able to breath.
To be able to swim away.
To be able to live.
To be able to be happy.
But they'll keep pulling me deeper.
By the weights
The claws of deadly monsters.
Who knows if there's a bottom.
An end to it all.
There is, but it isn't an end
Or a new beginning.
That's not an option.
I'll find a way
Eventually
Maybe
Maybe not.
For now I'll keep going deeper
Darker
Colder
Until I can't go any further which may never happen.

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Hey guys, sorry for not doing anything lately. I haven't been getting any inspiration for anything. If I do, I forget it or just don't do it for lack of motivation. I'm gonna be getting better now though hopefully with uploading things. So ya. Thank you for dealing with me and once again sorry for not updating. Love you all. High Fives! Buh-Bye!

~Shelby(Dreamer0512) :)