super frictonal {diza}

chapter: 2

re·volt

/rəˈvōlt/
verb
gerund or present participle: revolting
refuse to acknowledge someone or something as having authority.

    i heard him in my head. i heard him say "i'm sorry," like a repeat of a song. i could picture the thought of me kissing him one last time and hang it up on the wall. i could frame it for the world to see. i could write it in pencil and sell it to random strangers on the street. i could mail it to the president and have him copy and paste it in the history books. i could screenshot it and save it for me, myself, and i.

    it was in hd. it was bright and you could see everything i saw that night. you could see her lips whispering in his ear "i want you," and then she'd bite his ear lobe. "i want you and nothing but you." and then he'll look her in the eyes and bite his lip and attack her the way he did with me. she'd be so in love because it's david. anyone could fall in love with him. she'd wrap her arms around his neck as a shield for protection as he leaned her down on the bed. she'd sink into the pillows while he leaves his mark on her and claim her as his. he'd stop and look at her full of lust. she'd get confused and whisper, "what?" he'd shrug and say. "nothing," he'd lean in and kiss her warm lips. "you're just beautiful." he'd mumble against her lips and she'd smile. he would proceed to love her before the sheets were torn off the bed. and he wouldn't mind because the sheets wouldn't keep him warm. it was her. she kept him warm.

    i cringed and screamed and almost vomited by thought of his lips against hers. of her nails spiraled across his back, leaving a deep scratch as blood drips from his flesh. of her eyes looking into his. of her red lipstick laughing at the sound of his jokes. of her rosy cheeks blushing when he'd compliment her. it was too much to bare. i couldn't breathe as my heart stopped working and my body drown itself in sickening despair. this whole thing made me sick.

but i denied it. so badly. i told myself i was going insane. that i have officially lost my mind. and i did. i completely lost my mind, many times. the day i met him. the day he told me he loved me. every time i looked in his eyes. every time he held me. all day everyday. and i definitely lost my mind last month. the day he left his stuff with me, the day he also left me for her. sounds fun, doesn't it?

    i got up from my bed and walked to the kitchen. in no time i made it the freezer and grabbed the same bottle of vodka david drank. i swear i could taste him as i took a sip. it was like i took a shot of him, literally. he traveled in the back of throat, burning me as he did any other day. he painfully moved to my chest and i was taken back when i could almost feel the same way when he kissed me. i was almost intoxicated when i took one more, two more, thousands of drinks. of him. i couldn't stop. and i hated it.

    a phone call interrupted my own delusions of illusions and i picked up the phone.

    "hello?" i mumbled before swallowing the following drink.

    "hey," a similar voice spoke. "it's gabbie." i immediately smiled and i squealed by how excited i was.

    "oh my, god!" i said. "hey! how are you?" she giggled and i could feel her smile widen through the screen. i was truly happy to talk to her because i haven't even seen her for so long.

    "you're so dumb." she said and i laughed.

    "yes. i am. thanks for reminding me, you doof." i said and she laughed a final time.

    "anyways," she begun after our laughing had died down. "so there's a party tonight." of course. a party. i could bet my final dollar that she wanted me to come to another one.

    "and..." she said with obvious hesitation. "i want you to come." i rolled my eyes.

    "gabbie, you know how i feel about parties." she sighed.

    "yes, i know but—"

    "but what? if you knew why do you always ask." i interrupted her.

    "you have to come." she said. "you have been inside all month since..." i frowned my eyes and scowled.

    "since what?" i snapped.

    "since david." she planted. it was true, however. and i hated how true it was. she knew me so well that even she could read my mind like an open book. she knew how and why i felt how i felt. i cringed when i heard his name. i mean i cringed whenever i thought of him, but this time i almost felt a punch to the throat as it suffocated me.

    "ok," i said. "and what does—him— have anything to do with this?"

    she sighed and exhaled excessively loud. "it has everything to do with this because ever since he left you for her you never hang out with me anymore." she said. and yet again, ms. hanna was correct.

    "yes," i said. "i know, and i'm sorry." she sighed.

    "it's fine." she said. "just please come so we can go out, as free women." i giggled and sighed.

    "ok," i mumbled. "we can go." she immediately squealed and i could hear her clapping her hands.

    "but only for a couple of hours!" i declared.

    "ok," she said. "i'll pick up at 10:30." and with that she ended the call and i sighed as i put my phone down on the counter.

     "ok." i said to the phone. "see you then, i guess." i rolled my eyes and walked away.