The Girl in the gilded cage (A Tom Hiddleston story)

Bad dreams, bad omens

*Tom*
I am watching Malina crawl up on the platform, getting ready for her act. I feel the usual lump of lead in my stomach. I hate this so much. The fear of loosing her is like a burning pain inside me. I am sure it would rip me to pieces.
She dances out on the wire. Graceful as always, moving like a ballerina. A part of me love watching her, she floats like a fairy through the air. But most of me is scared shitless every time. Fearing that time is the last. That this day is the day I loose her.
As she is halfway on the line her foot slips and my heart is in my throat. This happens sometimes. Normally she takes an ekstra step and regain her balance. But this time her foot just slips again and she is falling.
I hear a scream. Realising I am the one screaming. The thud when she lands in the sawdust is the sound of my heart being ripped from my chest. I run to her side pulling her broken form into my arms sobbing. Someone puts a hand on my shoulder. "Tom ! Tom!"

*Malina*
I am awoken by a blood curtling scream that makes me sit up in bed. Tom is shaking and whimpering. Tears streaming down his face. I put my hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly. "Tom ! Tom !"
He flies up, drying his eyes furiously. Then he turns his face looking at me, the relief going through his eyes is almost palpable. He pulls me into his arms. Hugging me so tight it almost hurts. "Oh God Baby, it was a dream, just a dream".
"Oh my poor baby". I gently rub his back as he nuzzels his face into my neck. "It sounds like a really bad dream. But it is over now. You are here, with me".
"But it isn't over. I dreamt you fell. You were broken. It might have been a dream, but some day it is going to be the truth". He sobs into my hair.
I wish I could tell him that it will never happen, but I know it is a possibility. I can't promise him something I can't possibly know. So I just keep rubbing his back and whispering sweet words until he stops crying.
He looks up at me and I gently dry the last tear away. "I am so sorry I woke you up darling. I just had a very bad dream that you fell from the high wire".
"Tom, I am very good at what I do. The chances of me falling down are very slim. I am sorry it worries you this much". I say running my hand through his hair.
"Can we just forget the dream and go back to sleep ? I just want to snuggle with my favourite girl right now". He says. Pulling me into him. My back to his front. His arms wrapped around me as he kisses my neck. Soon after I can hear him drift back to sleep.

When I kiss Tom goodbye outside the circus grounds the next day around noon I can't stop smiling. It had been an amazing trip. We had made love again in the morning, and it had been even more amazing, now he was no longer as nervous.
I hoped we could do something like this again soon. Just be the two of us alone together. Only thing not perfect about the trip had been Tom's nightmare. I really hated seeing him that distraught, knowing I was the cause of it.
He smiled and waved as I walked away. He seemed happy about the trip too. And I knew he was relieved that sex was not only possible but a succes. He had told me this morning. Blushing like a schoolboy that he had feared that it wouldn't work.
I have started thinking about it. I want a family with him. That is my new dream. And that will mean stop working without a net, maybe stop for good. I just wont tell Tom just yet. But soon. I can't wait to see his face when I tell him.

When I get ready for the nights show. I smile when I feel the numb throbbing between my legs when I move. Yeah I am a bit sore. But I am pretty sure that was to be expected. And it reminds me of how amazing it had been, so I don't mind.
I sneak a kiss from Tom out behind the curtain. His hand grabbing mine for at second. "Be careful my love. I want you down in one piece".
Everything feels normal as I gets up on the platform and starts my rutine on the thin wire. I feel confidint and strong. When I am about halfway I feel my foot slip. It isn't the first time and I know what to do. So I move my weight to the other foot. Holding out my arms to regain my balance. I've done this many times before.
But I find no footing. My other foot slipping under me like I am walking on ice. And I feel myself loose balance. My last ounch of balance. Then I am falling through the air. Seeing light and colours swirl by and all I can think is. 'Sorry I didn't listen Tom'.