Doctor Who - 04 - On a Pale Horse

.1. The Unpredictable Convergence

A door of a blue police box squeaked and creaked open. A slim face, topped with a mop of brown, messy hair appeared in the gap. Large, dark eyes looked around cautiously. A pointed chin seemed to challenge the entire world outside.

"Well, what?"

The owner of keen eyes, messy hair and aggressive chin, irritably sucked the air, as Donna nudged him in the ribs, trying to widen the gap and to have her own peek outside. For a moment they struggled with the door – the Doctor trying to close it, Donna trying to open it ajar. Finally the Doctor gave up and stepped, or rather fell out of the TARDIS. His converses sunk deep into lush, wet, juicily green grass. Donna was next to jump out of the ship, catching her heel on the threshold and almost landing nose first on the living carpet full of chirping cicadas. Somehow she managed to regain her balance, grabbing the Doctor's elbow.

"It's not an unpredictable convergence of temporal streams," she announced, straightening up and smoothing a bottle green, deep cut tunic, exposing her cleavage and freckled shoulders. She walked away from the box in three long steps and turned on her heel, scrutinising the surroundings.

"Nor the end of the world, nor impossible-to-predict-time-space-location," she said folding her arms on her chest and giving the man a provocative glance. "It's not even Slough."

"Why... Why Slough? What has Slough ever done to you?" The Doctor unsuccessfully tried to save the remains of his honour.

"Green grass, blue sky, a singular, yellow sun; this is nettle, and over there, in the orchard, those are apple trees, without apples, unfortunately. And it's going to rain." Donna didn't intend to deny herself this tiny portion of spite. "Judging by gathered evidence, it is quite safe to say, that this is..."

"The Earth," the Doctor finished, resignation in his voice. He turned towards the TARDIS and gently patted her wooden camouflage. "And what's wrong with you again? Eh? What were all those turbulences for?"

"What's wrong with her?" Donna snorted. "You know what they say? A bad workman blames his flying box."

"What?" The Doctor looked at her, his eyebrows shooting upwards.

"How was she supposed to fly with an ass for a pilot?" Donna chided.

"Donna!" Eyebrows went down and almost met above the narrow nose.

"You said you'd let me drive!" She shook her fiery mane. "You never let me drive!"

"Right, 'cause you would land her better," the Doctor sneered.

"I don't know if you know, but women are much better drivers than men," Donna said angrily. "The number of accidents they cause is significantly lower. So is their insurance. And I'm sure I wouldn't get lost. We were going to the beach, right? Well, I can't see the sea anywhere, mister Don't-Touch-The-Date-Selector!"

"I didn't get lost!" the Doctor protested weakly.

"Where are we then?"

"DonNA!"

Nobody would bring the Doctor to boil as easily as Miss Noble.

"All right, I agree, we're on Earth. I have no idea why or when. The TARDIS is obviously damaged, we may be in serious trouble, so, fine, you're right, this is not an unpredictable convergence," he scatted. "But it doesn't mean it's not the end of the world."

"I'd be surprised if it wasn't." She shrugged. "It is always the end of the world with you."

"With me?" The Doctor's eyes almost popped out from their sockets. "With me?! Now it's my fault?! You know what, maybe you should find some other Time Lord to travel with. No, wait... Last of the Time Lords, remember?!"