Chapter 16

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He got up and walked away. I thought about trying to run away. but I don't even know where the hell the front door is. I only saw it once. He came back into the room and my mouth fell open. He was standing there with my collar in his hand. I sat up he came over and gave it to me. I couldn't believe it. I thought I would never see it again. I remember the collar ceremony. when he put it on me for the first time. It was such an amazing birthday. I swore I would never remove it. apart of me wants to cry but I can't show him. 

"How did you get this"? I asked. holding my tears

"When I got locked up". "I had a friend come to check on you". "that's when he found the house stripped of your stuff". "he found your collar on the floor". "I had it fixed" Bill tells me 

He reached into his shirt. Then he pulled out something that shocked me more. He pulled out the key to my lock. How could he have gotten it. I was told it was lost. I smile a little. I hope he didn't see it. 

How did you get the key? I was told it was lost.

I did that on purpose. I knew the booking officer. He took it from me. he kept it safe for me. till the day I could get it back. now can you see I never gave up on you.

I sat there considering his offer. I knew I wasn't getting out. 

"What if I did submit to you again what will happen to me?" I asked. 

"Well that means where I go you go". "This fighting me is over". "you will remember your place". "know that my word is final". "There will be no trying to escape". "if you submit you need to mean it". "if you don't mean it, I will know". "I can read you like a book". "I know when you are lying". he says. 

"Yes, I know" What about the Bullwhip"? "are you going to continue to use it"? I asked. 

"No, I will stop". "I will know you are going to listen". "do as you are told". He replied. 

Are you going to be nicer to me? I ask

Yes as long as you behave" he tells me

I was still holding my collar. I was tracing the hearts with my finger. The collar in my hands. meant more to me than any object. I have ever held. It feels like an old memory. All these feelings that I thought were long gone. Holding this collar made me feel them all again. He walked into the kitchen. He came out with some food and juice. He set it on the floor. I hand him the collar. I grabbed the juice first then ate the food. The whole time it was silence. When I had finished he took everything to the kitchen. When he came back into the room. 

"Stand" he demands 

I get up. I already know where I am going. he comes in front of me. we lock eyes.

"I am taking you back to the cage". "you can think of your answer". "I mean it". "if you are lying". "I will know". He says. 

We walked down to the basement in silence. I crawled in and he locked the cage. He walked back upstairs. Do I even have a choice? I mean if I don't submit and keep fighting. I am going to continue getting punished. Can I give up hope and just follow him? I know I have submitted before, but I loved him and I wanted nothing more than to be owned by him. Now I just don't want to be in pain till the day I die. I know he won't kill me. do I really want to give in to him? I grabbed the pillow and blanket. closed my eyes and thought about everything. he said to me.

                                                                                Her Collar

                                                                                Her Collar

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