In Ones Good Graces

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The one thing that can really pain someone, is the agony that follows with the loss of someone dearly. That one person that's been at your side, through every battle and every storm. Where your lost and deviated through the massive oceans and risen tides. Slowly suffocating you. When you're told that, that one fire is dimmed with the loss of hope with the waves of defeat. Drowning yourself in sorrow and you're nothing but left with awaiting for that one rainbow to crash through the clouds of darkness. Waiting for the colors of light spirited in your sole, in healing.

And the start and continuous storm, follows with the spoken words that rolls off the tongue of the doctor, laced with sincerity and pity, that everyone despises the most, "He didn't make it." It's as if everything that meant something, just drains down the sink and disappears to the desolated.

I just don't understand, why? Why, do we have to suffer from a loss, we love dearly, someone who was there for us when we needed and still do need the most? been taken away from us and disappear into ashes, a past of point of no return.

Though, I watch as the doctors mouth move, everything starts to sound inaudible. My view starting to blur. With welling tears as I feel nothing but numbness inside me, with my heart dropping. Choking me with torment. Trying to grasp for air, trying to inhale air for my desperate lungs. It's as if the one thing that should hold us alive, only traumatizes me and doesn't cooperate.

Dropping down on my knees. Cold goosebumps kisses my skin. My mouth watering. I want to scream, but the non insufflated air, holds me back and leaves me starting to feel my hands hurting. Even if I move a limb, it'll only throb my insides with such a intensity that it penetrates me. My heartbeat increasing by the second. My body dropping down limbless on the ground. My eyes wide. I see through the wall of tears somebody looking down at me, touching my shoulder from above. But the only thing I'm concentrated on, is to breathe rhythmically again, but it's too Herculean to accomplish.

Soon my eyes seals and my breath cusps, with my body giving up and slacks, "Elle!" Is the last thing I hear before I fall into complete and utter darkness, embracing me and consuming my mind.

With a battle, I pry my one eye open, followed by then with the other and is immediately struck by the lights from the ceiling. Confused as to where I am held hostage, devastates me and in instinct I shoot up from the bed. Hearing a beeping sound coming from my left and see a machine with wires coming from them and follows the lines and see them stuck on my body, paralyzes my mind. One after one I pull them out and don't mind the stinging feeling coming with it.

Do to the constant beeping, that quickens as my heartbeat increases, the door opens from across of me with four doctors flooding in. All this is too overwhelming for my head to comprehend, that starts to have my whole body acting upon it by shaking tremendously.

I squirt up in the air the second a hand grabs my forearm, fearing for the worse. Having my eyes construct tears, as they drop like a tip of a blade and abdicate bellow my feat. Hyperventilating, ticks and hits a nerve that has my breath hitching and taking complete control of my body, without fathoming it.

"Okay sweetie, look into my eyes." Only focusing on breathing normally again, it's hard to even think of looking somewhere else than up at the roof.

Slapping gently on my cheek, "hey listen to me, look at me." I stare into her brown ones, "what is your name?" Suddenly I can't remember, "honey listen to me, what's your name?" No response, everything is just vacant.