Conflicting Souls

Emotional

Expectations is all I had when I married Adam. I never felt loved because my parents abandoned me. I only wanted to feel like I mattered, like I was worth someone's time and energy.

And up until recently, did I fall back into that feeling of worthlessness.

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I guess I had passed out by the time Adam had left. I woke up and looked around but there was no one. I reached out for my phone on the nightstand but I couldn't find it.

Aaaah where could it be?

"Maria, how are you feeling my dear?" A familiar voice asked.

I turned to see Yasmeen with a mug in her hand. She was smiling and that immediately made me feel safe. There was always something about her that made me feel like I could trust her. She was my anchor to life i suppose.

She was there when life knocked me down and she picked me up without asking for anything in return.

An angel. That's what she was.

"Better,"I said.

"That's great. Here. I made you some green tea, hope you'll feel even better soon. "

Her phone vibrated in her pocket as she gave me the mug.

She looked tensed for a second and then her smile was back.

Something smells fishy or its just me. I may also not be thinking straight.

"I'm gonna have to take this."

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Yasmeen took great care of me for all night and I was feeling better. Well, except for the nausea and vomiting .

So she offered I stay at her place for the next few days or so that my cousin Iqra who stayed with her would at least keep an eye on me when she went to work.

Speaking of work, I don't get to go back to the office and I kind of miss it.

I guess I finally got a holiday.

I had to pack up a few things and put it in her car. I was sweating.

Argh.

I really didn't like the idea of leaving our apartment but Adam insisted I listen to Yasmeen since he wasn't here to take care of me himself.

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I forgot all about the wierd messages I got from whoever. I guess it's because I couldn't find my phone. So I decided to forget about it up until I found it in Yasmeen's room.

To say I was surprised was an understatement.

It happened two days after I settled in her apartment.

Adam called through her phone . He didn't even ask where was mine.

I got a little suspicious, so I decided to investigate.

Ha. It took me less than 30 minutes to find it in between Yasmeen's clothes. It was off.

I turned it on.

And guess who had left 3 messages?

Not Adam.

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Iqra, just like her name loved to read. She would always have a book with her.

She's a year older than me but looks so much younger. She has something about her that just attracts people to her. And she doesn't have to say a thing.

She moved in with Yasmeen a couple months ago. This was due to the sudden break in her marriage from Faris, her ex husband.

It was bad. Really bad.

He found another .

He woke up one morning, very mood and told her he was filing for a divorce. No explanations .

Nothing.

It breaks me to think that such humans exist.

That someone would plan behind your back, take you for granted and dust you off their shoulders like dirt.

There must be a special corner in HELL for such imbeciles.

She broke down. She wasn't the strong independent Iqra that I knew. So I told her to move in with Yasmeen. It was the only way she could disconnect from him and the world.

We haven't spoken about it since then.

She seems OK but I fear that she might be bottling up all her frustrations. And it might just erupt like a volcano.

I'm not sure I want to witness that.

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

She caught me off guard.

"Sorry, just lost in thought. "

"You miss him."

"Yeah, it's the first time he's been away this long since we got married."

I could see it in her eyes. She had thought of Faris. I regretted saying anything.
"I'm. .....sorr. ."

"No, it's okay. I know you're probably feeling guilty for talking about Adam after what happened to me......."

She went quiet for a minute.

I gave her time.

"I just don't want you to feel like I'm not opening up to you."

I really didn't know what to say. So she continued.

"I never thought I would have to deal with such a situation in my life. I feel empty, Do you know that I can't even cry anymore?"

That's got to me. I felt it. Every last bit of her words.

"I just hope this never happens to you, Maria. I'll make certain Adam digs his own grave." She laughed.

I smiled.

"I'll leave it to you for sure. " "Iqra, I know you're going through a lot but I hope you get back on your feet again . Doing the things you love like going to work and cooking. I just want the Iqra that I grew up with to come back."

She smiled a little and stared at me like she was speechless.

She took a deep breath and said "In sha Allah"(if God wills).

She went back to reading her book.

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I was so nervous to open those messages. It took me 4 straight hours to do so but when I did I couldn't even believe my eyes.

Is this for real?

Thanks for reading. See you soon. Hope this was long enough.😊