Rants of a teenage girl and her life

Dear God up in heaven, can school be anymore annoying then it already is? from the whole issue of me liking a certain guy and him probably never realizing that  I do actually exist.  at my school I am the girl that does not give two craps what most would think of me, but since I am who I am I finally do care what people think of me, and the way that I am he only honestly notices me when he and his friends talk about who can beat them up and I am the one that could, most of the time. he never notices me looking at him in class, but in the halls, since I am an idiot, I feel like he see's me and won't look away from me. the person I can talk to about him is the girl I have known since seventh grade, because she likes someone that I know about. but we always talk about them, but not in the super-creepy stalker kind of way. but in the yeah I know, if he would only notice me though.

 he is gorgeous, in my eyes. he's not ugly, but he's not Calvin Klein model hot. the way I think he looks at me is like he has something to tell me all the time; a secret of some sorts, but he's too afraid to say something. you know that guy that will never go for you because of your friends, no matter how many classes you two have, well that is my situation. when we have class we honestly sit soooo close to each other, but there are others around that make it difficult. we both are lefties, which by my standards are pretty amazing, because there are not as many lefties in the world as right handed people.