When I Drown

Chapter Fourteen: C. Avil

I felt sick, weak, and not quite myself. The hospital room smelt of sickness and bleach, it made my stomach turn and mind racing. Mom was okay; stable and unconscious- an induced coma. The doctor said we got to her in time to start the CPR, and the ambulance came just one minute before her brain shut off. Of course the information haunted me, what if we went out to get a drink; mom would of been dead.

Cleopatra sat next to me, rubbing circles in my back to soothe me from the pain and guilt I felt. "She's fine now. We did what we could." The goddess broke the ice after hours of me crying and keeping her words as thoughts in her head.

I wiped my tears away, my eyes were sore, most definitely red and puffy. "She gave me all the signs, I just didn't listen."

"You were helping, you went to get help and..."

"And what?" I slightly snapped, my emotions; guilt, anger, hurt, and pain. I stood to my feet and paced the small room in front of my mother's hospital bed. A breathing tub hung from her mouth, two IVs were poked her skin- one in the hand and the other in her forearm- her heart rate was steady and as well as her breathing. "I screwed up. All this time I thought things would be good but look at this," I gestured towards the helpless woman that I've abandoned.

Cleopatra sighed heavily before rubbing her eyes, we were both tired; spending over eight hours in the hospital with no sleep nor any form of rest was weighing on us. "It's not your fault. What happened was...tragic. Like you said, your mom was in a rough spot, don't blame yourself for her actions."

"How can I not blame myself?"

Cleo stood to her feet, gently grabbed my wrist so I can stop pacing. "Stop. Take a deep breath. Relax."

I did as she said, taking several deep breaths until I stable enough for her to let go. "Okay."

The goddess before me let's go of my wrist, but she did not step away. Her eyes twinkled with worry as she took a goo look of my pale skin and the bags under my eyes. "You need to rest, go home and take a shower."

"I'm fine."

"Emily, you won't help her if you're sick. How about we go home together? I'll stay over and we can take a small nap and then come back." She caressed my cheeks, giving me a few pecks on the lips in encouragement.

I looked towards my mother, there wasn't much to do but wait and see; so I agreed to the small nap. "Okay."

***

The goddess warmth, care and nurturing ways wrapped around my like a blanket, made my heart melt and stomach flutter from her kind actions. I laid beside her, looking at the clock as time goes by... an hour...two. I couldn't sleep, not when mom is in the hospital after an overdose. We still haven't figured out it were intentional or she just gotten carried away; either way, it's still bad and was life threatening. I couldn't help but blame myself.

Cleopatra sighed while slowly removing her arm from my waist. "You didn't go to sleep, didn't you?"

I shook my head no, but did not speak about the current minor situation. My mind was racing, I could barely focus on one thing; I was panicking on the inside. Cleo sat up, rustled with her hair and went to stand. Both of us knew her comforting would not help, but that didn't stop her from still giving it a try. "Thank you."

She turned to me, a look of confusion upon her beautiful face. "I'm your girlfriend, Emily. I'm supposed to be here."

"Still, I should of told you about mom's potential addiction; I was just so scared that you'll leave. I mean, your family is so perfect, drama doesn't fit into that puzzle."