strings• Fack ☆

Twenty Four

^shes gonna kill mE im so gAy

Jack

Finn turned back to us with a regretful expression, biting the inside of his cheek and fighting off tears. "i don't know how to." His voice was small, and he was barely speaking in a whisper. My heart broke at this and i frowned, walking to him and grabbing his hand. "Finn." i said softly, waiting for his eyes to meet mine. "This is what you've wanted to do. Don't doubt yourself, okay?"

He grimaced slightly as he struggled to not break down in tears, and i could see my words didn't help as well as I'd hope they would. "i don't know how to do this, Jackie. I've pictured it a million times and i still don't know how i could possibly face him." The nagging, selfish thought that i shouldn't let Finn, the boy i love reunite with his first love gnawed at me.

i shouldn't think that. It's selfish of me and it makes me look like i can't trust finn. i want to trust Finn. Do i? "Finn, it's not easy facing someone you've hurt so much and loved so much after a long time, but you can do it." Millie spoke up when i couldn't and i saw as she glanced at Sadie slightly as she said this, Sadie looking down at her feet.

Finn nodded slowly. "Thank you, Jack. Thank you, Millie." i squeezed his hand reassuringly. "It'll be okay, babe." He nodded and gave me a small smile, turning back to the door. As Finn heard everyone go forward slightly, he stopped. "i don't wanna anyone else to come." His voice was firm, but not angry. i could feel a pit in my stomach begin to build.

i could feel the reluctance from the group and we stood, silent, waiting for Finn to change his mind. "Finn, are you sure you don't want us there to-" "i said I'd like to go alone." He interrupted Millie, who immediately closed her mouth, looking away sadly. With his back still facing us, Finn let out a long sigh and moved to the front door again.

"Noah, please." We heard him mumble to the door. As i heard the door lock click again, i jumped slightly. i watched nervously as Finn slid through the slim crack that Noah, or at least his ghost, had barely opened. The thought still remained, no matter how i tried to shake it: could i trust him? i looked away and shuddered.

Finn

i eased my way through the crack and saw Noah close the door softly, turning towards me, but not looking at me. He was crying and still breathing pretty heavily and i felt my heart break a little. He was staring at the floor next to me. "Noah?" i asked quietly, my voice breaking. He furrowed his brows at my voice and i could see him holding back a sob.

"i don't want to look at you." He whispered, his voice hoarse and faulty. i began to wonder if he was sick or if the sadness inside him had taken away his young, confident voice. i nodded, before realizing he probably didn't see. "Okay." i said, and i stood awkwardly, before Noah made a slight gesture to go to his room.

As we entered, i frowned. Noah's room used to be exciting to look at- postcards from his pilot uncle splattered on his walls, Star Wars posters, a bookshelf overflowing, and a messy, but comfy bed. i wondered if it was because his grandma wouldn't allow him to decorate the room of her house as he had decorated the room in his, or if it's because he had no motivation.

"i know it's empty. i don't like it either." He shuffled to his bed and i followed, sitting down beside him. Slowly, he looked up and as our eyes met, we both burst out crying. i was taken back as Noah pulled me into a hug and i sobbed quietly into his shoulder, sobbing even harder when i noticed his shoulder had gotten bonier since the last time I'd hugged him.