Sleeping With Tattoos

Clarity

HARRY

________

To say I missed her was an understatement. I missed her. I missed her a lot but London was so big and so bustling with life that it took some of the missing her away. Myself and partner for this work Joseph were had been in London for about a month, living in accommodation the school had provided for us. We had been so busy trying to seal this deal, I had little time to think of Natalie.

"So, as I said, this is the price I think is best for this."

I turned back to the man currently sat in from of me. His suit was so clean cut and made to fit him and him only. His hair styled in a way that suited him and his job status. If you were to see him on the street, you'd know he was someone important.

Unlike myself and Joseph who currently sat across the table from him in tight black jeans hopping no one would notice they were jeans and the cleanest shirt we owned. We were only students, I don't know what else anyone expected to find.

"I think it's a very reasonable price. It exceeded my expectation of course and I'm glad it's such high value and quality work." I stated, more than happy.

"Well I'm not sure why your in such shock Mr Styles, what you are trying to sell is of very high standards, something I and the company have never seen before." His tone is sharp and correcting.

"Lets do it then." Joseph smiled and shook the mans hand, I followed and shook his hand.

NATALIE

__________

He was supposed to be back soon. I wanted him back now. I could feel myself slipping back to old dirty habits but that was selfish. Wishing for him to come back was selfish and I knew it. Just because he could make something with his life and I couldn't. That's why I wanted him back. Or was it because I really could feel myself slipping? Could I even feel at all?

I'd become immune to being numb. The frequent use of drugs had made sure I was immune to feeling nothing. I hated to admit it but I had become addicted. It only took a month but Danny had finally cracked me, he'd achieved his goal in making me an addict and there was just nothing I could do. I was no longer in control. Had I ever been? Yes. I had been before I met Danny. Before my parents. Before my grandparents. Those events were as hard as this one.

The worst thing was that I knew i was addicted but was too scared to seek help. I seem to believe that Danny holds a greater power than the police, doctor or anyone like that who could and would help me. I knew he wasn't but I was scared of him, terrified and that's what he liked. I'd been terrified if him since the funeral and that was the truth.

Harry would be back in about two days and I welcomed his return. His mother and Gemma had called occasionally and told me I sounded "too tired to form a coherent sentence" but I knew that was due to another reason. I hadn't had the nerve or courage to explain. Explaining and telling someone meant I had to tell them about my past. Did I want to? No. Would I have to at some point? Yes. I knew this. This was inevitable.

...........

"Yes Amy." I had immediately responded to her phone call. I swiped my finger across the screen and had the phone on loudspeaker so I could get on with my painting.

"When's Harry back again? I know I only asked you yesterday but you know what I'm like at remembering." She giggled into the phone. Yes, I knew what she was like, rubbish.

"Tonight." I answered smiling as my paintbrush dipped into the ever so pale shade of green.

"Right. So remind me why your not having a celebration for his return with any of us friends." She was desperate for a celebration. In my own opinion I think she was seeking a free party to let her hair down.

"His mum has not stopped reminding me that he is always tired after traveling even if the journey is ten minutes and he'll probably just shut himself down as soon as he gets home and sleep wi Netflix on in the background." I smiled to myself at the thought of him lying on his blue striped duvet with a comedy on in the background as he strokes my hair and we fall asleep.

"Wow, doesn't he sound fun." She said dryly. I laughed.

"Why don't you and Danny go out, I hear Rose is having a party at her house." Amy is my best friend so for her sake and her sake only I have tried to ignore Danny and treat their relationship as I would if she wasn't with Danny but as I knew it would be, it's damn hard.

"No, we're not on good terms." She said even more dryly.

"Why?" I suddenly questioned and sat up on my stool.

"I-" she stopped speaking straight after the word.

I sat in utter silence knowing she would need to think and then speak and that asking her "what" would only force her to really shut down the conversation.

"He was at a party the other night, some old friends of his he said and he came home, well to my flat at four in e morning. Smelling of the most horrendous smell." I knew it. He himself was stuck in his own trap, as was I stuck in his own trap.

"Drugs." I sighed.

"Yes but he said it was just the once, that it wasn't strong but was just something he did because his friends were too." She was quicker than lightening to defend him. I'd probably do the same too but the difference is, I know it's not just the once for hi. He's as hooked as I am, and it's all his fault.

I wonder how many more lives he's ruining.

..........

I ran to him as fast as I could. He stood in the hallway of his house, suitcase by the stairs and hugged his mother and sister. He's Soon released Gemma and stood watching me as I stood in awe at him finally being here. I needed him back so much and as selfish as I knew I was being I didn't care and was more than glad.

He hugged me tightly. His hands rubbing circles into my back as I wrapped my arms around his neck and dipped my head into his neck smelling his scent and drowning myself in his presence again. Nothing. Was said as we held each other. Time passed and I wasn't sure how long we stood there.

"I can't explain how happy I am that your back." I finally broke the silence and slowly but surely we broke the contact.

"I missed you so so so much." He pulled me back into another hug almost immediately after we parted.

"Harry there's food in the kitchen if you want." His mum offered.

"No thanks." He tired to me "let's just go to bed." He kissed my nose then sealed a kiss to my lips which had been waiting to feel his own again.

We wrapped ourselves into this thick blue striped sheets and lay together. I lay on top of his own warm body as I listened to his heart beating at its own steady rhythm.

"I can't say anything. I don't know what to say." I laughed slightly with my eyes closed as I allowed sleep to gently pull me.

"Neither do I, not now anyway. I have so much to tell you Nat but just not now." His voice was hushed and speech was slurred. I guess he was letting sleep pull him too.

"I love you Natalie." His breathing was a mere whisper. His heart beat echoed through my ears and in some cliche way, his heart beat traveled through my body, through my own chest and sank right into my heart. Our hearts blithe beating together in sync and for the first night since he'd left, I felt content again. Everything was clear and easy again. I came to realise as I too joined him and drifted off to sleep with him that he was my clarity.

-------------

I know it's been forever! Ahh! But I do have other commitments like school which have been extremely demanding over the past few months, so many apologies.

So let's work on this together, you vote and comment and I update more and more depending on your voting and commenting.

So NEW GOAL:

How about we get to 100 comments and 300 votes? It's not that hard! All you have to do is go back and vote throughout the story and just keep commenting!!

Dedicated to;

paulineb123456 for her amazing voting dedication.

And

LoserInHell for her amazing voting dedication.