Killer Love

Chapter Fourteen

The wind whips against my eyes, making them water, as I ride to my destination. At least, that is what I keep telling myself. I focus on the roar of the motorcycle to keep my mind from drifting off to unwanted places, but the look on Harry's face when I said Louis is my boyfriend is killing me.

I curse myself for letting him penetrate all those walls I have spent years building. I did not think anyone could do that. I can't risk anything for some guy just because I think there is a connection between us, but there is just something about Harry that wants me to be a better person.

I have never heard of someone disobeying kill orders. They probably keep some of that stuff quiet to make sure no one gets the idea. I am sure they are killed or targeted. Maybe some managed to escape but now have to live in secret. I don't know what's worse, killing people or running for the rest of your life, constantly looking over your shoulder.

By the time I get to the clearing, I just want to get this over with. I am so tired of the same old routine. I feel like I am one hundred years old, just trying to get through each day, waiting for something that will probably never happen.

I make sure my gun is loaded and has the safety off. I don't want to play any games this time. No taunting. No sparring. The faster I am done with this, the better it will be.

He is already standing there, his back facing me. His hands are in the pockets of his black slacks.

I don't bother being quiet to hide my presence, but he still doesn't turn around.

"I'm guessing you're here to get rid of me," he says calmly.

"You guessed right." I raise the gun.

He sighs. "Just do it, but tell me one thing."

"And what is that?"

"Do you know why they target people like me?"

Since when are these people so talkative? Usually, it is me who cannot keep my mouth shut. "You know I don't ask questions," I reply.

"Maybe you should."

"Be quiet."

"You know I'm right. Haven't you started to doubt yourself yet?"

"Shut up! This conversation has gone on for too long."

"You're right." He begins to slowly turn around and, for the first time ever, I flinch as my gun goes off.

I know I probably should, but I do not bother turning over his dead body. I don't want to know anything at all about the man that I just killed.

My breath gets caught in my throat and I take a shaky step back. Maybe it is the alcohol in my system or maybe it is the way things turned out tonight with Harry, but all of a sudden I feel like crying. For my life and what could have been had my parents not died.

My eyes start watering so I shut them tightly. I bite my lip to keep from sobbing out loud.

"I don't want this anymore," I whisper to myself. Maybe it is time for a change.

I don't cry for long. Maybe less than a minute. I wipe my eyes, thankful that I put on waterproof mascara today.

My ear piece crackles as Louis gets on. "You done yet?"

I clear my throat and say as normally as possible, "Yes. Just give me a minute please."

"Are you okay?" he asks. "And don't say you're fine. I have known you for years. I can tell when you are not okay."

I pause, thinking about what to tell him.

"Don't worry," he adds, "I have already paused the recording."

I almost forgot about that. Better now than never. I take a deep breath. "I want out." I wait for his reaction of disapproval or surprise, maybe even anger.

But it is like he doesn't even skip a beat. "I know, Y/N."

My mouth does this weird opening and closing thing as I try to form words in response. "How?" is all I manage to get out. I haven't even known for that long.

"Like I said, I have known you for a long time. I always knew you weren't cut out for this in the long run. It was only a matter of time before you wanted to escape. I guess it took this mission to make you realize that."

"What am I supposed to do? I'm lost here," I reply and begin pacing around, steering clear from the body. "Our people don't do this. They don't leave."

"You cannot tell anybody, and I mean anybody, about this. You know what happens," he warns.

I stop pacing around. "Yeah, I do. I just can't keep living like this, Louis. I mean, why am I really killing these people? Are they really horrible or is it because they aren't with us?"

He is about to reply, but I shush him when I hear the snapping of a twig. I spin around, straining my eyes to see into the shadows of the trees. There is no additional movement, but I instinctively whip my gun to the direction where the noise came from. My eyes drill holes into the darkness created by the trees that don't let the moonlight penetrate past their leaves.

"Who's there?" My voice is loud out here, echoing far.

It stays eerily quiet except for the sounds of owls, crickets, and the occasional howl.

I push on my earpiece. "Never mind. I thought I heard something. Probably an animal."

"Okay, Y/N. I'll send a clean up crew, then. Everything done right?"

I know he resumed the recording.
I glance around one more time, studying the forest. "Yeah. I'm going to head home."