Counterfactual

18 | reverie

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

REVERIE

( — an act or state of absent-minded daydreaming. )

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          ROWAN FOLLOWS JASPER WHEN SHE HEADS OUT OF THE DOOR. The tiny bell chimes above his head as he stumbles out of the café and he nearly spills what's left of his coffee, but there are more important things, such as Jasper's recklessness. While she could be somewhat predictable at times, there were things not even Rowan ever saw coming and he likes to learn from his mistakes.

          Sometimes, at least. He pushes himself to not make any in the first place, but, sometimes, they can't possibly be avoided.

          Perhaps going after Jasper is one of them, but, when he has no idea which course of action she'll follow, as furious as she is, it might not be acceptable to simply let her leave with a heavy conscience. Rowan thinks that says a lot more about him than it does about her, as she wouldn't hesitate before letting him storm out of the café and go live his life, but he'd rather not take any risks at this point.

          He wonders why everything always finds a way of going back to Taylor. She's someone he never actually met in person and found a way of hallucinating about, losing even more hours of sleep and getting sucked into a downward spiral, getting worse by the day. In spite of all this, his mind always takes him back to the same place and he doubts there's any possible way out.

          Night is falling outside, with the cloudy sky growing darker and covering the stars. The storms have been cutting Vofield some slack, fortunately, but Rowan's combat boots still step over puddles of melted snow and wet leaves, with Jasper's heels echoing against the concrete of the empty parking lot. It's not the only sound that does it, however, as his voice calling her name has the exact same effect—both in the 'echo' part and in the 'being ignored by her' one.

          Rowan knows pretty darn well he's not following her just because he's suddenly altruistic and super-duper concerned with whatever the hell she does. He also does it because she has a tendency to talk too much, saying things she shouldn't have. Therefore, he wants to know exactly what she meant when she said he was entering dangerous territory. For all he knows, she might even know something about what's going on in this damn town.

          "Jasper," Rowan insists, even though she never turns around and he's forced to watch her blonde ponytail swing from side to side as she moves. "Jasper!"

          "Go home, Rowan," she dryly orders, pulling her phone out of her bag. "There's nothing left for us to say to each other. If you don't mind, I'm going back to my hotel and pretend this trip wasn't just a waste of money."

          "As if you didn't have a clue this was what I had been meaning to do for ages."

          Huffing, she spins around on her heels, and Rowan is astounded by how she does it without stumbling to the side. "And so what? You can stand there, look me in the eyes, and tell me for just how long you had been dying to say what you said, but how are you going to explain what happened the last time I came here? Because, and correct me if I'm mistaken, you were the one who asked to see me and the one who invited me to spend the night at your apartment!"

          He exhales, interlacing his fingers on the back of his head. "That was a—"

          "Mistake? One-time thing?" Rowan doesn't answer. Knowing her like he does, that's the best decision he could have made. "Because, Rowan, every little thing you do always ends up being second-guessed, doesn't it? You're either rethinking every decision you've ever made, or you're feeling sorry for yourself, just like you did that night!"