Two Different Worlds.

Chapter 11

Anaya Roderick

I laid in bed all day today watching movies on Lifetime with my curtains closed completely and no lights on . Today my son would've been two years old and I didn't wanna be bothered with anyone so I put my phone on do not disturb.  Karin and Nadriah were probably blowing my phone up but I just wanted to be alone .

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I did have a two year old . Like would I still be living in Harlem ? Would he look more like me or Jahod ? It was just so many questions I have that I wish could have been my reality.

Hearing knocking at my door I ignored it for a good five minutes but whoever it wasn't obviously wasn't going away . I punched the air before kicking the blanket off of me . You would think that whoever it was would get the hint that nobody was home . Stomping to the front door I opened it seeing Jahod .

" How did you find out where I live ? "

" I have my ways " He said smirking " Why haven't you called me ? "

" Because we don't have shit to talk about . Now don't ever come to my house again and stop sending me flowers "

Yesterday more roses were delivered to my front door and they were from him . This time I didn't  even take them I told the delivery man I didn't want them .

Shaking my head I tried to close the door but he put his foot in the way. Forcing himself into my house .

" Jahod get out my house " I said trying to reach around him and open the door

" I apologize for all the stuff I put you through . I apologize for not treating you like the queen you are . I apologize for denying our so—-"

" Don't you dare say our son ! " I said with tears in my eyes . " You swore I was sleeping around on you so don't stand here and call him your son . He was my son and you took him away from me " I semi-yelled pointing my finger in his face .

"You broke me to the point where I didn't even know myself anymore . It took me so long to actually start loving myself again and I'm not going to let you come back in my life and ruin that . What we had is over and done with . You took my son from me and I forgave you in order to move on from it but I'll never forget . " I said as more tears fell looking him dead in the eyes

" We were young Anaya ! I know what I did to you was fucked up and I apologize " He said pacing back and forth. " But we are older now and I want you back " He said grabbing my face in both of his hands wiping my tears

Shaking my head no I tried to remove his hands from my face but he wouldn't let go .

" Let go of my face Jahod " I said wrapping my hands around his wrist trying to get him to let go .

" Tell me you don't love me anymore . Tell me you don't miss how we were in the beginning " He said pushing me up against the wall with my face still in his hands.

" Jahod " I said still trying to get him to let go

The tears wouldn't stop falling . I never prepared myself to ever see him again because honestly I never wanted to see him after what happened. I was doing so well without him in my life and I wasn't going to let him ruin that .

" I miss you Anaya" He leaned down placing his lips on mine catching me off guard . I stood there shocked not kissing him back . It's so crazy because once upon a time I loved his kisses and I couldn't get enough of them . But now I'm disgusted with them .