"why do you only talk to me when you're drunk?"
"i guess thats the only time i have the courage to."
a (mostly texting) story in which a girl only texts her cheating ex boyfriend when shes drunk
babyyy💗 mhm babyyy💗 i opened my window u can climb up
me okay see u in a min
i carefully climbed on the side of kirby's house, hoisting my self up on the window ledge and climbing into her room.
i looked over to her bed, and there she was. she looked so good with no makeup and her bedhead, i wish i could still see that version of her all the time.
"i like the christmas lights." i complimented.
"thanks."
the dim christmas lights lined her wall and tapestry, the only light in the room. her room has always been what i call a 'hippie vibe' type room, but i like it a lot.
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she was sitting up, her blanket was completely wrapped around her and all i could see was her face.
"come sit." she said quietly, patting a spot on the bed next to her.
i sat down next to her and looked at her face, i looked around her room and smiled to myself.
it's been so long since ive been here.
"so, grayson." she started, "we have to talk about some things."
"yeah, we do."
"can i start?" she asked, turning to face me.
"can i actually ask you a question first?"
"yeah sure."
"why do you only talk to me when you're drunk?"
she paused for a second before talking again.
"i guess that's the only time i have the courage to talk to you."
i frowned at her, "you can talk to me whenever you want to okay?"
she nodded her head and gave me slight smile.
"can i start?" she asked, her voice was tired.
"yeah of course."
she sighed aloud before starting to talk.
"i really don't want to admit this, but i already have while i was drunk so there's no point in keeping it a secret anymore. i've been getting drunk to forget about you, or try to atleast, it hasn't really been working. whenever i drink, im still aware of what you did, but i feel like i can just say whatever i want to you without a consequence. i know you hate that i do that, and i hate it too; but i guess i haven't really found another coping method."
she started to tear up, and i almost went and held her.
almost.
"i just really don't understand why grayson. i know you tell me you weren't thinking straight, but you always told me i didn't have to worry about ellie. she was just a childhood friend of yours, or i thought she was. i can't even describe how i felt when i walked in on you two together, can you please give me some type of explanation on why you were with her? something other than you being drunk."
i really didn't even know what to say, because i don't know why the hell i would choose to get with ellie over kirby.
"as i've told you, i really wasn't in the right state of mind. it was right after her party, and everyone left, she asked me to stay and help her clean. i said yes, and started to help her clean up cups and other random things on the floor. we went up to her room, and she kept being all touchy feely with me. i should've told her to stop then and there, but i didn't. i wasn't thinking and just thought that she was being nice or something. she sat down on her bed and patted the spot next to her, and i sat with her. at first we were just talking, and she started to lean in, and i did too. i really don't know why i did it, i wasn't attracted to her and i definitely didn't have feelings for her. i just- i don't know kirby, i wish i could give you a real answer but i can't because im just a fuck up."
i started to get teary eyed, i looked at her and she was crying.
i wrapped my arms around her, and she cried into my shoulder.
"im sorry kirby, im so so sorry." i whispered to her, even know she was the only other person in her room.
she shook her head 'no' and kept crying into my shoulder.
after a bit of us sitting like that, she lied down and told me to lie down with her.
"this might sound stupid to you, but i've missed when we cuddled." she sniffled, laughing a little bit.
"that doesn't sound stupid, i've missed it too."
"do you want to-"
"yes, i do."
she gave me a tear stained smile, and turned around so her back was to me.
i scoot closer to her on the bed and wrapped my arm around her waist, spooning her.
we lied there for a while, no talking or anything, just silence. it wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable. i listened to the pace of her breathing and felt as her stomach rose and dropped.
"grayson?" she spoke up, breaking the silence.
"yeah?" i asked.
"i miss you."
* this is it for this chapter, i thought it was cute
