Melancholy (Poetry)

m a n i p u l a t ion

In those rare moments when he's loving me, when his eyes are all mine, and I'm secured in his arms. I'm coming back to life, because I was dead all those days without even knowing. His arms are great walls made of brick that keep me in. Each kiss is a rope tied from me to him. Each word is a stab in my heart pumping his high through my veins.

In those rare moments I'm the greatest trapeze artist that keeps herself from falling off the thinnest rope that is him. I'm the lion tamer who tamed her own mind and tells herself this is worth it. In those rare moments when he loves me, I'm getting high on him.

The problem is he hasn't picked me. After those moments are gone, I'm struggling so hard to stay balanced on that rope. The lion is gnawing at my brain and makes me whole body ache. I'm tangled up in all theses ropes attached to him that I rip some off and slowly feel more disconnected in the brick walls he left me in alone. I'm going through withdrawals, I need to just talk on the phone with you but you won't answer, you're busy. Lines and sessions keep you away and awake at times that I'm asleep. It's hard, I only want the best for you, even if thats not me. Dont push me away, you already told me once you would never leave again, but, are you even really here? Have you ever really been here? I'm still alone is this brick cage you built around me.

I'm not entirely sure you know how you feel. Please let me go till you find out. I'm covered in bruises from all the pain you casued me, mentally and emotionally. I love you, I'm here.  I'm still here and I'm struggling to hold on just a bit longer.

L.G