The Last Song of Me

Chapter 1: Burn the Night Away

 Before it All:

    The cool steel of my guitar touched my skin as I brushed the 6 string with my fingertips. The slight orange sunburst finish reflected off of the stage lights. I cleared my throat, trying not to strain my voice before my moment. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered out of control as the sound of my heart beating filled my ears. It felt so loud that I thought everyone around me could hear it as well. I started to twirl the ends of my black, curled hair.

   

    The other acts were practicing nearby backstage of our annual school talent showcase. I looked to my right to see the Asian Hip-Hop group perfect their choreography, and to my left the Jazz Band was running through standards.

     A couple of my friends came to cheer me on, and they always try to convince me that I’m good. I heard that tonight there would be a couple talent scouts in the audience, so the pressure was on. Although there was no prize, this was a great way to get practice for a real show.

    This wasn’t the only reason I was nervous. I was determined to make this the best performance of my life, since it may be the last time my mom would ever get to see me on stage. She had cancer, and we knew that it was caught too late. She’s in pain, and I can’t stand to see her like that. Sadness and slight depression fills my body when I really think about it. She won’t be at my graduation, or my 18th birthday, or help me pack for college. My mom is my everything, my inspiration for music, for life, for every decision I make. I know she’s in the front row tonight.

   I cleared my head of all thoughts that circled in my head and let the fear take over for a little. A bit of adrenaline rushed through my body as the emcee announced my name. A loud round of applause welcomed me as I strode onto mid-stage. I turned around to my drummer,  bassist, and lead guitarist  who were part of my band. They gave me an encouraging smile as I walked up to the mic with my semi-hollow electric guitar slung over my shoulder. The lights on the stage blinded me temporarily as I tried to look out into the audience. I tried to find my mom, but I couldn’t see anything. My vision consisted of a bright white light that seemed to never end. WIth that considered I just hoped she was there and gave a hand signal to Ryan, our drummer to lead us in.

    I played my heart out on an original song I wrote. My fingers fell into place naturally as I closed my eyes and let the music take over me. The words flowing from my mouth were as smooth as the low bass line that seemed to travel with me. My voice filled the packed auditorium as some people started to stand. I felt the lyrics and I hoped that others would feel it too, especially my mother. I wrote it for her.

    An eruption of cheers came from the crowd as I took a bow. I headed off stage to put down my guitar and go into the crowd to see my mom. My friends who were also in the showcase congratulated me on an amazing performance. My mind still buzzing from it. My music director/family friend pulled me over to the side for a minute.

    “ Hey Sean! I rocked the stage, didn’t I!” I greeted him.

    “Yeah, you were awesome Sam.” he replied with a smile. His mood seemed to have had a drastic change as his face became slightly paled.

    “What’s wrong?” I asked.

    “Um…just come with me.”

    “Ok…” I said a bit hesitantly. Sean held me by the hand and led me out of the stage area and into the parking lot. “Where are we going?” I asked again as he jumped into his car.

    “To the hospital.”

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     Sean pulled into the parking lot and I opened the car door before he could even finish parking. We were driving in circles trying to find a spot, and right now, time was of the essence. I ran into the lobby of the hospital and saw my aunt who gave me a hug and immediately led me past the security guards and down the hall to get to the elevators. We stood in an awkward silence as the slight whir from the elevator filled my ears.

    My mind was racing with good thoughts and bad thoughts and uncontrollable thoughts. It couldn’t all be over yet. I felt my breathing become intensified, and my body shivered. My throat began to hurt from the tears that I was desperately trying to hold back. I was terrified to see her, I was terrified to hear anything the doctors had to say. All I could think about was it being my fault she came out of the hospital for the day. I asked her to come and watch me. If I hadn’t performed maybe I wouldn’t have to face the inevitable right now. I’m the one to blame.

     I got out of the elevator on the 6th floor and followed my aunt, slightly slowing down my pace behind her from my fear. I tried to calm myself down as she opened room 638. I saw my twin brother’s familiar face surrounded by doctors and nurses who finally got my mom stabilized. He looked at me with a soft sympathetic glow in his eyes, and didn’t have to say a word. He nodded his head toward the bed my mom was on.

    I saw my mom. She was laying there, still, with tubes through her nose and arms, a bag of blood being transfused into her, and a nurse taking her temperature. Apparently she was still alive, but was put under an anesthesia for a little so that she could be taken care of better.

    Her restriction tore me apart. She was suffering, and suffocating in the air of this horrid place. Confined by the light blue walls of her room, I wished that I could free her. Free her from something I had no control over…

            I took a seat next to my brother, Luke, and put my head on his broad shoulder. I closed my eyes trying to wake up from this nightmare I call my messed-up life. I opened my eyes again to see the fluorescent lighting that plastered the ceiling. There was no luck, and I hated facing reality.

Thanks to @TinaChen and @KatherineCovers for an awesome book cover. I really like it, and please tell me what you think about how the story's going so far. Thanks :)

PS: I promise the chapters will be longer following this one