I'm Not Okay ((Ferard))

THINGY WITH MATT AKA ANAL_ASHBY I'M FRANK HE'S GERARD!! ENJOY

Frank's pov

I hate this. Why must I keep pushing? Why can't I just stop and let whatever I'm pushing away hit me? Maybe then I'll finally be happy. Maybe then people will like me and enjoy being around me. If I just allow myself to get hit then maybe, just maybe, I'll feel love. I've never felt love. Yes, I guess you can say my mother loves me, but she has to. My mother shows me the attention I need but I feel like the sickly sweet voice she has towards me is fake. When I hear her talking on the phone I hear a voice she has never spoken to me in before. The voice almost sounds calm and hateful.

I sit on my bed legs crossed scribbling words onto the page when the lady I was writing about entered my room.

"Frankie come on you got to go to school, first day of Junior year." she smiled walking to open my blinds. I hissed at the light. My entire summer was spent with me sitting on my bed writing in a million notebooks, while my, mother complained about me not moving. She left my room after a few more moments of silence. I could hear her mumble something outside of my door. When I finally finished the line I was working on I slowly got off my bed and got dressed at the same pace.

When I got to the school I looked around. I have not missed this place. The chipping paint on the walls, the abused looking lockers from students carelessness, the grumpy teachers out in the hallways shouting at poor innocent students, yet praising the ones who are actually doing the wrong thing. Man do I just looove school.

I quickly brought myself to my locker trying to go unnoticed while I put in the code but some how failing when I feel a light tap on my shoulder.

"Um excuse me?"

 

Gerard's POV

"Um excuse me?" I say to the boy struggling to open his locker. He whips around, glaring at me. 

"What the fuck do you want?" he spits at me.

"Uh, I was just wondering where, uh..." I trail off, looking at my schedule.

"Where what?" he asks, looking very annoyed. 

"Where Mrs. McDougall's class is?" I finally ask, shuffling on my feet.

"Oh. It's across from the cafeteria." 

"Thanks." I nod to him, before I walk off to Mrs. McDougall's class. looking down at my shoes. I know no one here, and yet, I'm a junior. You wanna know why? New school. Sometimes it sucks being in a military family. You have to move around to wherever the parent who's in the military is stationed. And right now, that's New Jersey.