Why is it so Wrong, Yet Feel so Right? (Boyf Riends)

18

Jeremy just kissed me. I kissed him back. I liked it. But what about Christine? Well, he did say he doesn't like her anymore. Still! He's still dating her! The fact he doesn't like her anymore doesn't change the fact he's still dating her! It doesn't make the kiss right!

"Mike? Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah I'm fine. Hey, look, we're here!" I let out a nervous chuckle before getting out of the car. Before I can open the door Jeremy grabs my wrist and pulls me to face him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" His grip tightens on my wrist by the smallest but still noticeable amount. "If it's puffing you that we're going in your house we don't have to do this." His grip loosens a bit.

"I want to do this though. I'm fine Jeremy."

"If you say so." He let's go. I miss the warmth his hand provided. Now my hand just feels cold. It feels even colder when I rest it upon the doorknob. I open the door quickly as a chill runs down my spine.

"I'll take the back of the house and the basement, you take the front of the house and upstairs," I mumble. "Grab any of my stuff you find that looks like I use it often. 'Kay thanks." I run to the back of the house, careful to keep my footsteps quiet.  (Okay, so, quick intermission for this random thought I had. Just imagine the entire cast of Be More Chill having a Jersey accent like the really gross and fake sounding ones. That'd be great. Okay back to your regulatory scheduled programming.)

After scoping out the back of the house, I gingerly walk down the steps to my basement. I do a quick overlook of the main room. Clear. Investigate further to find they're nowhere to be found.

"Coast is clear up here Michael," Jeremy whispers from behind me. I jump and shriek, inevitably causing Jeremy to laugh.

"Don't sneak up on me like that! What if my parents were down here?"

"Oh, true, sorry Michael."

"It's fine doofus. I know this is hard for you, but you have to try to think Germ."

"A. I'm not stupid. I have a higher average than you. B. J-"

I cut him off with a mumble and a scoff, "Yeah, only because you actually did extra credit like a nerd."

"B," he emphasizes. "Just because my name is Jeremy doesn't mean you can call me 'germ'. That's just stupid."

"Like you," I mumble.

"I heard that!" His face turns red.

"That was intended. Did you grab anything?"

His face lights up with recognition. "Oh yeah!" He begins to dig through the tiny bag he must've taken from my room. "The old patches you took off in grade school, some games you left in your room, those photo booth pictures of us from  when we were trying to reenact cringy couple movie scenes, a couple of other pictures and decorations, and...that's it."

I smile. "Thanks man."

"Let's go home," Jeremy says as he drapes his arm around my shoulder. Home. He referred to it as home. As of it was my home too. Did he even realize it? I'm probably just over thinking things. Right? Yeah probability. But what if I'm not and he really considers me family?

My heart drops again. He's still with Christine. I can't do this to her. She's too kind of a person. Either he breaks up with Christine or he puts an end to whatever it is we have. I want whatever he thinks is right for him, even if it hurts me.

Let him do what's right.