depression | bang yedam

4

This chapter is to specifically talk about suicide. So if you're not okay about it, please skip.

Areum's POV

I got home and just laid on my bed. It feels bad knowing that the once optimistic person just became the most pessimistic person alive.

Should I trust Yedam ? he does seemed pretty trustable but i'm afraid of actually being lied to in the face again.

I stared into the mirror and saw me but there's so much that's different as compared to the old me.

I look like i'm one of the zombie from the walking dead who just rose from death.

There's no life in my expression, I just look like a strand of noodle that's left to dry after being boiled. It's just really stiff and it doesn't look or taste good anymore.

After I got out of the shower, I realized I got a ton of missed call from someone I don't know.

I called back and my phone fell to the ground right after I heard the news.

I guess, my classmates wish came through.

My dad passed away at the age of 55 due to suicide. If only I could see him one last time and tell him i'm sorry for everything.

Humans are cruel aren't they ? They send hates without finding out the truth and now someone's dad committed suicide due to it.

Breathing became something that I have to force myself to do, it ain't something that comes naturally anymore.

" Appa, i'm sorry you have to go through all of these. You're the best dad I can ever asked for but i'm not the best daughter in any way. " I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

I could get hugs from many people but it wouldn't be the same as a hug from my dad.

I've not seen him for many years now and I regretted not seeing him. I wish I could but technically I have to live with an adult but I live alone.

Hey,

Why don't you see your dad again ?

What ? I can meet my dad again ?

Yeah.

Just take the knife from the kitchen and stab yourself.

Or tie the rope to the ceiling and stand on a chair, place your head in the middle of the rope and kick the chair.

Isn't that suicide ?

Yeah.

But it's for a good cost.

I'm slowly being persuaded to kill myself. True enough, I managed to get the rope from the garage underground.

Since my only friend is Yedam, I decided to message him my suicidal letter and my will. He's the closest person to me at this moment, I have no family or friends.

Me: Yedam, thank you for being my friend. Even though our friendship lasted for a really short while but it's really memorable to me. I'm not leaving you, i'm leaving this world, to get a better life perhaps.