depression | bang yedam

5

Areum's POV

I'm sitting in a dark corner at my dad's room, I didn't have the money to hold a funeral neither did any of the officers offered to help.

I took out a memory box which my dad has left behind. I opened it, holding in my tears as I looked through every single one of the item.

One of them caught my eyes, it's a little card I wrote for him on his birthday and I drew a little family of three, which is me, my mom and my dad.

I opened the card and I couldn't hold in my tears anymore, it started rolling down my cheeks.

To my beloved appa <3

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to appa, happy birthday to you !! Areum-ie love you a lot and want to grow old with you and omma !! <3

You're the bestest dad in the world and I couldn't ask for more except being with Areum and omma !

I love you appa !!

- Areumie

It breaks my heart how I can't fulfil my childhood wish of growing old with my parents. It's even worse when I know I can never see my dad ever again.

I looked over at the clock and realised it's really late now, I tucked myself into my parents's bed and fell asleep after much tries.

The next day, I felt so tired to even get up but even if I tried to sleep, i'm still wide awake even if i'm tired.

I got up and changed into my uniform even though i'm pretty dead inside. I walked to the school compound and I already felt a sense of hatred towards it.

" Areum ! " I heard someone called out to me.

I realised that voice belongs to Yedam, I wanted to just walk away from him. I didn't have any feel to talk today, if you get what I mean.

He grabbed my wrist, " Hey, I called you but you just kept walking away from me. " He pouted but I ignored him anyways.

I don't hate him but I just don't want to talk today.

As usual, people are sending hates to me and i'm fine with that but one of them said something which triggered me so much.

" I heard your dad passed away, so I decide to celebrate. Party at my house today at 7. All invited, you can bring your dad along if he's even alive. "

He laughed and everyone followed after him, slowly the room is filled with laughter. I can't accept the fact that they think someone's death is a joke ?

Anger rise in me and I stormed towards him, he smirked proudly at me as if he just won some kind of award.

I slapped him on his face and the whole room became really quiet.

" Leave me alone, jerk. " I said coldly as I walked back to my seat and act as if nothing had happened even though all of us know something did.

He pushed his chair out harshly and walked to me, he started grabbing my hair, " Don't you think just because you're a girl I would leave you out. I'm going to make sure you end up like your dad. "

I yanked his hand away, " Fight me. "

If you guys don't know, depression triggers everything. That includes emotions, that is why i'm more feisty these days.

" Areum ! Detention ! Go to the principal's office now ! " My teacher screamed as he sends me to the principal office without even listening to my reasons.

I did as I was told, " Why did you harass Hyunbin ? " The principal asked and as usual, I became really mad at the fact he trusted Hyunbin.

" I did it because it was self defence. " I said.

" From what I know, he didn't say anything wrong. " I slammed the table in his face and he stared at me, unimpressed.

" He told the class he wanted to throw a party to celebrate my dad's death day. How is that not wrong ? Is it not wrong because he's rich and i'm not ? " I asked.

" Calm down A- "

" How can I calm down when you materialistic people are here not wanting to believe whatever I've said when it's the truth ?! " I burst into tears.

He was shocked when I started crying, " Isn't school supposed to be a place to teach students right from wrong ? Why aren't you teaching Hyunbin ? Because those rich people don't do wrong ? "

The door slammed opened and someone dragged me outside. He passed me a bottled water and I took it and started gulping down the water in big gulps.

" You're going to choke at this rate. " He said.

" I wish it will, so I could leave this materialistic world full of ugly people. " I said as I wiped my tears.

" You really can't curse, you know that ? " I ignored him and continued drinking water, trying to cool my anger palette down.

He took the bottle away from me, " No water. " He said and I rolled my eyes.

" Just ignore Hyunbin, he's a jerk from day one till today and you know that. " I nodded and he chuckled, patting my head.

" You're really cool today, standing up for yourself against the school's Kingka. Salute ! " He said and he laughed.

I just stared at him in silence, it felt really good to be complimented but at the same time I felt like I didn't want to hear it and it's all just lies.

Lies.

Those are lies.

Do you really believe he thinks you're cool ?

What a joke.

I held my head in pain, the pain is overpowering and it felt like my skull is slowly breaking open from the pain beneath it.

" Areum ! " He raised his voice as I started screaming in pain, it's so painful that I can't even express the pain by just saying it out.

It feels like i'm at the edge of hell.

Save me.

My vision became blurry and I passed out without knowing how and why.

Am I really dead ?

22nd Dec 2017

" People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long. "
- Johnny Depp

Believe in yourself and that's the key to getting out of depression. There's always people there believing in you in your darkest days, even when you think there isn't, there'll always be some.

I believe in you guys <3

Stay strong gorg !! :)