(and yet again, picture belongs to aki-psyche. Noticing a pattern? yeah I have a bit of an obsession maybe i think lol ^-^')
Our little friend, otherwise known as the nerdiest jock on the block, Alfred, was having a wonderful time waiting for the restricted silent part of study hall to end. He tapped his pencil eraser on the desk noisily and fidgeted restlessly. Glancing sideways at the library book he finished two days ago, then at the encyclopedia he was supposed to, as he put it, "sacrifice" to the librarians, he realized that he had a legitimate reason to leave to the library.
Alfred stood up, earning a few bored glances from his classmates and one curious one from his teacher, and walked up to said teacher. "Mrs. Hoehler?"
Hoehler looked at him, "Yes?"
"I'd like to go to the library."
"Alfred, you know you aren't allowed anywhere for the first ten min--"
"Yeah, but I mean, I ain't got any homework--"
"Sounds like you could use some extra homework for English..."
Alfred rolled his eyes, "But Mrs. Hoehler, I need to give the library a replacement for one of the encyclopedias I stole."
"And lost."
"Yeah...and lost," he looked down guiltily. "But, c'mon, I finished my other book two days ago..."
Hoehler raised an eyebrow, "You checked that book out five days ago. You finished it in three days?"
"Yeah, so?"
"You were reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Al. Nobody finishes that book in three days."
"But I--But I did!" Alfred protested.
Hoehler sighed, "Fine. What happened in the last chapter?"
Alfred immediately told her the answer. I don't remember what happened in the last chapter and even if I did I wouldn't actually put it in here because spoiling on someone is the most unforgivable sin of all. Hoehler sighed and smiled, "Fine, go. But make it quick!" She called after him when he was already out the door with both books.
Alfred skidded through the door of the library, grinning. That had been a lot easier than he thought it would be. He spotted Ivan and sat beside him, slamming the books on the table, which startled the Russian out of his own book. A grin spread across Ivan's face, making Alfred grin back.
"You came! It has hardly been six minutes," Ivan eyed his classmate, confused.
Alfred opened his mouth to reply, but--
"Thaaaat's what she saaaid!~" a familiar voice rang through the library, earning the perpetrator a "shh!" and a glare from the two librarians. Alfred stiffened and blushed, looking around to find said perpetrator. Ah. Gilbert. Of course. The albino, though somewhat unsettling to look at, was a normal-enough guy. Athletic, popular, on the football team...Alfred stared at him with a cocktail of admiration and envy.
Meanwhile, Ivan just stared in confusion, "What is what she said? I am con...confused..."
Alfred sighed. He had a duty to this poor Russian immigrant and he would fulfill it. "'That's what she said' is a phrase used to basically...It's a sex joke. It's basically 'what she said' during sex."
Ivan stared at him blankly, "But...we did not have sex."
Alfred's face turned as red as Gilbert's eyes, "That's not how it works, Ivy!" Ivan blushed and looked away.
Finally, Ivan just said, "O-Oh..."
The two sat there in silence for at least five minutes.
"Well," Alfred said suddenly, laughing nervously. "This is really, really awkward."
Indeed it was.
Woo I feel so accomplished rn! Don't worry about Hoehler being kind of nice there will be total jerk teachers for other classes ^-^ bc life ain't perfect, my friend. Or even just moderately good. Nope, life just sucks man :P
YOU ARE READING
How To Be a Loser in Middle School: A Step-By-Step Guide
HumorAlternative title: Huh, It's Kinda Nice To Finally Have Friends Exactly what it sounds like. Starring all the APH characters as awkward puddles of teenage self-loathing and cringe. Pairings would be subtle, and just what you expect from middle schoo...
