Wild Girl ✔️

chapter 19: pain

Sebastian

Her eyes were filled with a burning fear as she watched me from across the room, her gaze locked firmly on the knife in my hand. Rose was afraid, and she should be. Desperation had clawed itself around my mind and the only thought running through it now was getting Violet back.

It didn't matter who I would hurt along the way.

Rose's took a step backwards as I took a step towards her. "I need you to help me," I repeated, running my finger along the blade.

"No," she said, gasping as her back slammed into the door.

"Rose —"

"You're insane," she breathed. Her words pierced through my heart, causing me more pain than this knife ever could.

"I need to get her back." Myvwords repeated over and over again like a broken record. Violet's face wouldn't leave my mind. Every time my eyes closed she was there, crying and broken as I said the words that crushed her.

I hated myself for it — for breaking her heart to free mine. As soon as she left I felt a shift, a new coldness inside of me where it was once warm.

I need her back.

Rose's mouth was pressed into a thin line as she took a determined step towards me. Any trace of fear on her face was now gone. "I'm not letting you hurt yourself for her."

I smiled sadly. "You don't have a choice, Rose." My mind had been made up last night.

"Then why did you come here?" she yelled, her arms flying around her sides in a blur. "You said you wanted my help, Sebastian, and I'm not letting you hurt yourself!"

I carefully tucked the knife into the band of my jeans as I took a step towards her. "I know this sounds crazy —"

"It's fucking insane," she countered.

"— but listen to me, Rose. Pain is what brought Violet to me in the first place. Maybe... Maybe if she thinks I'm hurt, that'll bring her back."

Rose watched me like I had completely lost my mind. I just needed for her to understand that this was the only way.

"Why did you come here, huh? To get my approval?" Rose closed the distance between us in a rush, her small hands latching onto my shoulders as she shook me. "You don't want to do this, Sebastian! That's why you came here. You wanted me to talk you out of this," she said, her words blurring together in a rush.

I reached up gently and grabbed her hands, removing her grip from my shoulders and dropping them down to her side. "You're wrong, Rose," I smiled gently. "I came here because you're the only person that knows where to find me. Remember that clearing I took you to in the trees? Where you painted me?"

Her head nodded slowly as a tear slid down her cheek. "I remember."

"That's where I'm going," I reached up slowly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Rose," I said, grabbing her chin in my hand and turning her face upwards until her gaze met mine. "If I'm not back within an hour, call an ambulance."

She screamed in protest as I ran out the door, shutting it quickly behind me. I moved as fast as I could, running into the trees as the blade from the knife pressed into my back.

I need to get her back.

___

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happy new years, guys! starting the year off with a short update but more to come soon, promise :) hope 2018 brings you lots of happiness, good books & self love.