Birds in the trees

life

By accidentally seeing a random post on Instagram, I found out that Iman had left the states to walk for Vs or some other shit in Shanghai the next day. She didn't call, notify me or anything. She was just gone for like 3 weeks and there I was, a complete emotional mess, hung up on a girl I virtually knew nothing but at the same time everything about... I felt fucked, totally fucked. I was a walking pitty party but the good thing with emotional stress is the creativeness it fuels: I wrote endless love songs for days about her whilst shutting everyone out and replaying our kiss over and over and over in my mind. Usually I was the one who was all "go with the flow and don't think about it" but this time it felt as though it wasn't a big deal to her, she might even be back with her nigga... Fuck. What if she was back with him? Jhene all over again? Fuck.

My hand unconsciously slid down my pocket as I pulled my phone out. Was I really about to check the blogs for this shit? Damn right I was.

Joey badass, Not so badass after all? Rapper sends extravagant bouquet with 500 red roses to on and off girlfriend.

Joey badass visits VS show to support ex

Joey badass, declares never ending love on new track...

I tossed my phone to the side. The last thing I wanted to hear about was what cute bs this nigga was pulling to get her back.

What was I even doing man... Checking tmz for this??? Maybe she isnt that good for me, I mean look what she's made me do man... You need to get it together, get back on track... Get focused. I was furious. I was done. I didn't even know the chick long enough to be trippin' like this. Nah nigga we ain't bout that.

I tried to keep that mindset during the entire following week and it kinda held up all though deep inside, I was always hoping that she'd call... At least shoot me a text or something. But nothing came through . Absolutely nothing. Her social media was the only sign of life I got and not even that was settling.
All she did was post modeling stuff but I didn't care about how many shows she walked, I didn't care if she was on a f-ing forbs list, Shit, I didn't care about any of that trivial bull. I wanted to know that she was good. And I wanted her to... want me to be good too but apparently she didn't give a fuck so why did I?

Cause I was a complete idiot for her.

-

"Donald? Donald?"

"Wait wha-" I looked around. 5 star sushi restaurant, some chick... Sonoko, sitting before me and looking concerned.

"What were you saying?"

"Guitars. How many do you own?" She repeated under a nervous chuckle.

Right. The date. After noticing my month long emotional distress chance and Fam set up a bunch of dates for me to go on and "get back out there" but I just ran through them. Literally.

"Yeah listen, I'm kinda tired so you wanna go to my place?" Perks of being famous? You can cut to the chase.

-
3.21 am, sonoko was sleeping, the moon was out when my phone suddenly rang.

"Hello? Hello, Donald?" The oh so familiar, beloved voice quired. I couldn't speak. I just listened to her, completely perplex. Finally.

I snapped out of it and replied. "Iman... Iman-"

"I just got off the plane, I'm in L.A and I... I have to see you, i know the timing is off but I-"

"Where? I'll be there. I'll l be there Iman."

-

3:30

I was in my car, windows rolled down, mind racing. It had been so long since I'd seen her, i didn't want it to be weird or awkward. I just wanted... her. The closer my car got to her place, the more anxious became. Stop overthinking this, just... Just stop for one second and be happy. Just be happy. I got out of the parking lot, entered the apartment complex, walked into the elevator, got out on her floor and walked towards the door. 7b. My palms felt sweaty, knees heavy, mom's spag- Get it together nigga. I breathed out when I took the last step towards her door, pressed the cold bell once, twice then the door opened.