TLADI

Chapter 8

It was in the wind, in the dark night wind... she felt it in the wind, something was coming... She closed her lone left eye, tilted her serene face into the wind and smiled faintly. Something sat down next to her... not something: someone.

"Greetings," Stima said in his rounded textured voice. He had brought something with him... Tladi exhaled slowly, without looking at him.

"Greetings," she replied, in her quiet, threatening voice. He had brought along... the feeling...

"If I didn't know you, I'd think you were threatening me" he said, staring into the darkness of the sea, "but I know you naturally speak like that; as though you are threatening someone," Stima concluded. Tladi sharply turned to look at him, narrowing her single eye in suspicion.

"Where did you hear that?" She asked.

"Nowhere, I just thought it," Stima said, seemingly unperturbed by Tladi's suspiciousness.

"My mother said that to me once..." she said slowly. Stima abruptly turned to look at her. They briefly locked eyes and then looked away with an uneasy air of 'okay then...' Sibi once again missed the moment; she was asleep with her head in Tladi's lap.

"When?" Stima finally asked. Tladi should have been confused by the question but they were in harmony, so they understood each other.

"It was the day I found out that Umthunz'omnyama wasn't really my mother..." Tladi practically whispered. All the time there was this tension...

"Oh, I remember that day..." Stima muttered, bowing his head under his distant, childish, stupidity while absently being surprised that Tladi could say the Sangoma's name so casually. It was one of the few events of his childhood he could remember, and well he should, he nearly died that day. All the time there was the feeling that had come with him...

"Yes, the day I nearly killed you with the curse of my anger..." Tladi smiled wistfully. All the time there was the feeling... of yearning...

"Yes, you always were different and it didn't bother you. Maybe that's why we always teased you; to shake that inexplicable self-assurance..." Stima shook his head, smiling at one of the few things about which he had thought. Yet the yearning continued...

"You're lucky my mo- I mean Umthunz'omnyama convinced me to undo the curse..." Tladi said almost mock seriously, but no one could ever tell the difference. The yearning to close the seemingly wide gap between their bodies continued...

"That was you? You saved my life?!" Stima replied, astonished. All he had to do was reach out and...

"You seem to have made a habit out of it." This seemed to disturb him.

"Yes," Tladi said, no longer really paying attention. She was wondering if she was the only one experiencing the yearning... The conversation was depleted now and they looked silently across the dark, living waters. Stima held himself together perfectly calmly. Tladi's paranoia took over... Perhaps he is only here to prove that he has made peace. What if the emotion is one-sided? It is a bad idea to fall in 'like', never mind love! Such things are not based on reason. My life must be based on reason; that is why I am trying to reason it out. What if this is a sham and the village is playing a joke on me... what if... What If...WHAT IF?...The voices rose to a crescendo in Tladi's head and then stopped suddenly, silently...

"Goodnight," Tladi said to Stima. She stood up and practically ran away. Stima was confused, but his pride would not let him show it. He said his 'goodnight' and allowed Tladi to walk away. He wondered if his friend had been right.

Such sporadic unfulfilling conversations became the new definition of their relationship over the weeks and months that finally stretched to a year or two. The longer this continued, the more agitated Umthunz'omnyama became, the more dramatic 'The-red-eyed-mob' grew, the more ignorant the village became to the changing relationship between childhood archenemies, the more the feeling that had replaced the bristling hostility grew and the more Sibi, Tladi's pet dog, became confused. Tladi also had to admit to herself that she too was confused, and yet they did not cease the sporadic conversations. Tladi knew it was a mistake, she knew they should not but her heart told her something different; thus her confusion.

Tladi was looking at Sibi one day while she was weaving. The expression on each face was practically a mirror. Of course, Sibi was prettier, but the same questioning 'HOW ON EARTH!?' was absently displayed. Tladi had encountered many aspects of the male mind and always she had been able to decipher them, to solve them. To understand the inner workings, but to her, Stima was a big black mystery. Moreover, she could not decipher what went on inside his mind.

With most men, she could just tell; he is arrogant, he is weak, he is strong, he is simpleminded... but with Stima, what could she say? It was inexplicable. What did he think? What did he want? What did he think? What did he want? Tladi thought, exasperated.

Always she had seen men as just irritating creatures or fascinating gadgets in human form or things that needed saving; help. Yet with this particular man, she was experiencing a very different feeling. It was strange to her, new. She was experiencing FEAR. She had never experienced this before. It was a strange fear. It was not the kind that grabs you by the throat and paralyzes you. This fear was the type that wrenched at your stomach and shook you until you could not stop shaking. How many times during those two nights had she thought; Tladi, all you have to do is roll over and... or all you have to do it turn around quickly...or reach out or... or....or...or... but she had not. You and your stupefying, amazing self-control! She silently cursed herself. Yet those two nights in the wilderness...oh the agony... You would never realize the true nature of a human relationship until you left the two parties alone together...

The clouds had been secretively hovering there, in what seemed to be rain-cloud formation for a long time now. The villagers had told themselves that it was just a thicker cover of mist over the mountains, but Umthunz'omnyama knew better than that. There had been an almost secret activity in Tladi since the time the clouds had arrived, no, even before that.

Umthunz'omnyama's first grey hairs had begun to appear when Tladi and Stima had been sent out into the wilderness together. It was true what they said; you would never realize the true nature of a relationship until you left the two parties alone together. Sometimes it was better if the true nature of the relationship was never realized.

Umthunz'omnyama hated herself for it but once again, she thought that someone should have died that night. Moreover, it could be entirely her fault that this had not occurred. Future blood could be on her hands for preventing past bloodshed.

The thunder rumbled within the clouds, it disrupted Umthunz'omnyama from her depressive thoughts. Not for the first time in her life, she thought; I must find Tladi! With the urgency of a life and death situation, but then again, everything with Tladi was a life and death situation. Her powers blessed and cursed constantly forced her to walk the tightrope dividing line between life and death. With every step she took, a little dust fell into the life and a little dust fell into the death.