Fighting for Love

Chapter 5 (REWRITTEN)

By the time Sunday morning roll around I couldn't bring myself to leave the room. I was feeling drained emotionally and I didn't want to deal with a soul after the state I was in the previous day. I knew that everyone would be walking on eggshells around me out of fear that I suffer another meltdown. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I broke down like that, maybe it was the night of Kyle's death or maybe the night of his funeral. Those were some pretty dark times. For once, I felt so drained that I didn't even have the energy to dwell in the past.

With a heavy sigh, I rolled out of bed and trudged slowly to the adjoining bathroom, my feet felt so sluggish and it took every once out of me to perform the simple task of showering and getting dressed. When I was finished, I took a deep breath and headed out the door before I lost what little courage I gained. When I reached the kitchen I wished that I just stayed in the room, I felt so awkward at the how everyone seemed to react at my presence. Monique couldn't even look me in the eyes as she said morning to me and asked if I wanted breakfast, Jamal looked at me with sympathy and Jeremy looked like he didn't know what to do. I realized that Jamal's parents weren't present, so that meant I didn't have to pretend.

I gave Monique a quick nod and soon she was playing a plate of eggs, bacon and sausages in front of me, usually I helped her with the cooking when I came over but this time it was different. She stood there watching me, I knew she wanted to say something but she didn't know if it was okay. I was getting rather annoyed, it seemed like lately I was always moody;

"Just spit it out for Pete's sake Monique, I'm not gonna burst into a sobbing mess if that's what your worried about." I said through gritted teeth,

Monique still looked nervous but she managed to mumble a quick, "Are you okay Sammy?"

I gave her a sarcastic smile, "I'm doing just peachy my dear sister, is there anything else that you would like?" and with my reply she got the drift, so with that she gave me a quick nod and took a seat next to Jamal and began to eat her breakfast. Jamal gave her a worried glance, I knew that I shouldn't be so harsh with her since she was quite emotional, maybe then that would teach her to not dish out what she couldn't take.

After that everyone ate I silence, however the tension was so thick that I swear you could cut it with a butter knife. Being my stubborn self I ignored it and acted like it was any other day, I really didn't want to deal with the confrontations that I knew were sure to come if anyone tried to form any conversation with me, at the moment I was in defense mode. I was trying to nurse my wounds that were ripped opened. When Monique left with Jamal I could finally take a huge sigh of relief, now I could relax without the thought of anyone hovering over me. I totally forgot about Jeremy being in the kitchen, so when I began to wash up the dishes that were left in the sink after I finished eating, I was caught off guard when I felt myself being pulled into a hard chest. I stiffened for a few moments until he began to rub up and down my arms soothingly;

"What are you doing," I asked, no matter how much I told myself that I should pull away and his presence at the moment wasn't good for my own sanity I couldn't bring myself to pull away.

Jeremy totally ignored my question, "I know that the reason you and your sister aren't doing well is because of me and I wanna say that I'm sorry for whatever trouble I may have caused between you guys."

I pulled away from him totally forgetting the task at hand, "God, everything isn't about you, I swear I only knew you for two days and already your the most self centered person I know." I said,

He gave me a small smile and moved back to his previous spot at the kitchen island to give me some much needed space, "Considering the fact that I learnt you aren't exactly a social butterfly I don't feel offended at all by your reply."