He Loves Me Not

Diseased Denial

It was a normal morning so far, we'd just come back from summer break and were only a few weeks into school when it happened. 

I was rushing to get to school so i could meet with my friends Stan and Kenny, Cartman too if i could even consider him a friend that was. When i arrived at the bus stop Kenny and Stan were there as usual, they managed to get there before me almost everyday even though i live closer, it's kinda ridiculous.

"Heya guys." i said as i walked and stood next to Stan, he looked as tired as usual, he'd probably gotten into another fight with Wendy last night. 

"Hey Kyle." Stan said, his voice definitely  portrayed the bags under his eyes almost perfectly.

"Another fight with Wendy?" i asked, noticing the strain in his voice. He just looked to me and nodded with a sleep deprived sigh to accompany the half-hearted response, i looked over at Kenny who seemed as dead as Stan at this point, i would ask him about it but i reckoned i already knew, his parents; they fought all the time and sometimes is gets violent. My friends always seemed to be in such shitty situations all the time and sure i feel bad for them but god am i so glad its not me. As I'm thinking this to myself i hear what could possibly be the worst voice in the world call out to us, Eric Cartman, an asshole, a racist and a fatass. 

"Hey you guys!" Cartman called out to us, his voice was unusually chirpy. He must be plotting something, the only time his voice is anywhere near that happy is when he's planning something. Every idea or plan he's ever had has either failed or been completely ridiculous and over thought. I could rant abut him for hours, I'm not sure why I'm still his friend but i am- sadly.

"What are you planning fatass?" i asked him, looking over at his chubby face, god even when he smiled it made me want to be sick. He looked back at me, offended for some reason? I was being reasonable! I hate him so much! 

"I'm not planning anything! I'm just happy, can't you let me be happy for one moment, jew."  he said in reply, gesturing with his hands. There are so many things wrong with him, it'd take me hours just to even start! 

"What are you happy about then?" i asked, if he wasn't planning something then someone he hated must have died or something sadistic like that. He just looked at me and grinned.

"I got myself a girlfriend." The smug grin and tone in his voice made me want to punch him but more importantly, Cartman has a girlfriend?! Eric fucking Cartman?! This had to be a joke, what kind of girl would ever like an egotistical psychopath like him? It can't be true, he had to have been fucking with me. 

"HA! There is absolutely no way you're being serious, you got a girlfriend?!" i laughed loudly, this was the worst joke i'd ever even heard. Looking over at him i noticed him roll his eyes and stick his tongue out in a childish manner. 

"I did actually, Heidi turner." He said after i stopped laughing, Heidi turner? seriously? She was one of Wendy's gang and hung out with the girls as far as i knew but she was definitely considered popular, There was no way she and Cartman had gotten together. As the bus pulled up i watched as Cartman went from his usual seat next to Kenny and butters but instead over to Heidi, she didn't move away or shout at him either, she...smiled?! What the hell? i guess Cartman wasn't lying? The two of them...together. It disgusted me, for some reason, Heidi was such a sweet and nice girl, she was pretty too. Why would she even consider Cartman as an option. It made me want to vomit right there and then. 

Thankfully the rest of that school day was uneventful although i had to look at Cartman and heidi sit together at lunch, i feel bad for her, i want to grab her and just shove her away from him, its so unfair, he's probably manipulating her to get her to even look at him. Other than that the day went fast and was soon over, on the walk home from school i began to feel suffocated, dizzy almost, i figured i was just unwell but i wasn't sure so i decided to run home just incase i got any worse from being exposed to the cold mountain weather. Opening the door to my house i breathed deeply in and steadied myself, my mom walked through the kitchen and smiled at me. 

"Hello bubbie!" She said to me in her usually, smiley tone. I tried my best to smile back at her and she seemed to fall for it, i waved and then walked up to my room.

 My throat felt like it was burning up, my lungs felt like they were filled to the brim with feathers, i couldn't breathe at all and i felt myself begin to cough as soon as i walked into my room and closed the door. I fell to my knees and suddenly began to cough violently, i squeezed my eyes shut as the pain began to fade slightly, what was happening to me? i didn't smoke, i wasn't coughing this morning either. I opened my eyes and stared in shock as i noticed what i'd just coughed up... Blue and yellow flowers, each with a small speck of red on them. Was that...blood?! WHY THE HELL AM I COUGHING UP FLOWERS?!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME! 

In a panic i rushed to my bathroom as soon as the coughing fit ended, i stared at myself in the mirror, i looked normal, just as i had this morning, the only difference was the few broken petals and pollen from the flowers and a small amount of blood from my mouth... There was no way this was real? Right? i began to pinch myself all over my arms, this had to be a dream, it had to be, there was no way i could cough up flowers. I hadn't touched a single flower all day, what the fuck was happening to me.

I walked back from the bathroom and over to my laptop, I thought if i could search up what was wrong with me then i could fix it. After 20 minutes of searching there was only two words that kept appearing on the screen. 'Hanahaki Disease' What was that? was it contagious? Did that fatass spread it? 

'Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病(Chinese)) is a disease where the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear. If the victim's love is not met within a certian time limit, the victim will begin to choke on the petals and their own blood, however if the love is met by the victims love then the victim's lungs will clear themselves and the victim will be perfectly okay.'

I had the hanahaki disease then but the only problem was that i didn't love anyone, i think... There was no way i did, unless... unless i began to have feelings for heidi, yes thats got to be it! this only started after that fatass started dating Heidi, If i could pry Heidi away from that asshole then i would be cured! 

"Oh god please don't let me die... There's so much i could do with my life, I'm too young." I muttered to myself as i began to clear away the petals and blood from my rooms floor.